Uproxx readers are probably familiar with Stacey Ritzen, who can be found editing the Web Culture section and informing you of the Internet’s daily offenses. On Tuesday, however, she became one of Web Culture’s many subjects when her Philadelphia neighbors began having one of the loudest, most obnoxious and it-kinda-sounds-like-murder sessions of sex in recent history.
Ritzen regaled her coworkers with tweets about and videos (for the audio) of the midday romp. It made for fun banter, and maybe just a tiny bit of schadenfreude, but that was all. At least until Uproxx’s partners over at BroBible decided to make the live-tweeted sex session a part of 2016. Thanks to them, the Great Neighbors’ Sex Live-Tweet Of 2016 is now a thing. On the Internet. Forever.
So, here’s what happened. When things started getting heavy next door, Ritzen tweeted the first video just to prove to the world that she wasn’t the only one hearing this sh*t.
That’s when she noticed an oddly placed school bus outside the offending apartment.
Her investigation, however, was immediately thwarted because the loud sex was still happening.
The moral of the story? Honestly, there isn’t really a moral to learn from here. Except, of course, that one should always have their smartphone or recording device on them at all times. You know, so that they can immediately upload it onto social media for everyone to laugh at.