Everyone wants to have good sex. That’s why sex therapists have waiting lists, why self-help books that teach you the art of pleasing your partner (and yourself) are national bestsellers, and why every glossy magazine promises that it holds the once secret that will blow your mind, change your life, and transform your relationship .
But one size doesn’t fit all, and while experts are great — we’ve talked to a sex therapist, a dating coach, and an intimacy instructor right here on this site — they offer a perspective that’s helpful (and possibly life-altering) but sometimes not personal enough. “Communication is always key” is a piece of advice that often comes up, but how do you communicate? What do you say to get what you need? That answer’s often not so clear, and can lead to frustration and the inevitable feeling that you’re doing something wrong, even though we’re so often assured that there’s no “right and wrong” when it comes to sex.
So we asked real people about their sex lives. Real people who aren’t professional sex havers or educators but report that their sex lives are “awesome” and “amazing” and every other superlative that you could possibly think of. We asked them why their sex lives are great, how they keep it that way, and any other advice that they have for other people trying to get on their level (although you’ll see that “on their level” means many different things). From people who have sex with one partner, to those who have sex with multiple, to those that (often) have sex with only themselves, we’ve put together a comprehensive list of people who have great sex lives and don’t mind telling you about them — in the hopes that they might inspire you when it comes to, well…coming.