It’s time to come clean: you definitely take selfies. You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth. Listen, we’ve all had moments when we know that we look fresh to death, and that moment deserves to be commemorated. Whether you choose to post it on Instagram and let the likes roll in or just keep it as a personal pick-me-up for days when your skin and hair is actively working against you, that’s your choice. But it’s time to stop lying about the selfies that we take. If Henry VIII can have countless portraits painted to save his visage until the end of time, you can take a shot of yourself looking fly as hell. It really isn’t the end of the society as we know it.
However, if you’re going to go all in, there are a few pitfalls you’re going to want to avoid. You could be a part time model if you keep these donts in mind the next time you snap.
Don’t Take A Selfie In Your Messy Room
No one wants to see yesterday’s underwear in the corner of your shot. They really don’t. A few minutes tidying up will go a long way. Even if your selfie is straight fire, looking like a total slob will undo a lot. Plus, do you want to get a phone call from your mom telling you to act like an adult and clean your room? No. You don’t. Nothing kills your vibe quicker than a dressing down from a parental unit.
Don’t Misread The Vibe
Read. The. Room. Witnessing someone take a selfie in public always comes with that feeling that you should look away, but that slight feeling of indecency is escalated when the selfie is taken in just the worst place. So, if you’re in church, at work, or at an active crime scene, just leave the phone in your pocket. You don’t need to commemorate that moment. That’s when you go from fashion opportunist to asshole.
Don’t Overthink It
If a selfie is disturbing your peace of mind, well, then you live a pretty charmed life. But if you’re running around trying to find the perfect spot 24/7 and spend all of your time with your friends “capturing the moment,” it might be time to dial it back. You rule the selfie. Don’t let the selfie rule you.
Don’t Do A Stupid Pose
I know there are new “trends” every day, but let’s be real. Find your angle, get some good natural light, and you’re good to go. That’s really all that’s necessary for a stellar selfie. Anything else is just overkill. Once you start using excess props and unnatural poses, the art of the selfie becomes a much bigger production than it needs to be. Do you really need those likes that bad? (No.)
Don’t Filter It Into Oblivion
Sure, we all spend more time than we’d like to admit picking out the best filter, but once you start layering multiple filters and amping the saturation up to crazy levels, one starts to wonder when it becomes actively dishonest. We all have blemishes that we’d rather hide, but taking the leap from normal human to pore-less cartoon character is a bridge too far.
Don’t Pretend It’s Something It’s Not
If you’re going to post a selfie, just own the fact that you look good and you want everyone else to know. Once you start hash tagging selfies to “raise awareness,” you move from harmless narcissist to a little delusional. You look hot. You want people to know. Own it.
Don’t Send Unsolicited Nudes
I feel like anytime taking pictures of yourself is mentioned this needs to be addressed. While we’ve probably all taken the occasional saucy photo (gotta commemorate that one time you went to the gym this year), there is a time and a place for sharing those. The time is if they’re asked for and you want to, and the place is far away from children and other prying eyes. While you may think you look good, no one likes that kind of surprise.
Don’t Post Endlessly
There is a line between self-love and just being thirsty as all hell. While it is good to see yourself and be seen, posting a selfie every day, multiple times a day is one of the quickest ways to annoy your social media connections. It’s just not a good look. At the end of the day, a few well-deployed posts will get you farther. People know what your face looks like, I promise. You don’t need to remind them every day.
Don’t Worry
Go ahead and peer pressure yourself into being ok with your own face. It’s not so bad. In the long run, this selfie doesn’t really matter, so get a little liberation from that fact. The world won’t end if you don’t post, and it won’t end if you do either. If you like how you look, the rest is just gravy. Snap on, my friends.
