Making The Conference Title Winners Into Cartoons (And A Proposal To Eliminate The Pro Bowl)

01.27.16 3 years ago 2 Comments

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And there we have it. Our lineup is set. Super Bowl 50 will be between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers. But let’s not talk about the winners. Not yet. We have two weeks to talk about them. Let’s talk about the losers.

First up, the most depressing loser: The Arizona Cardinals. Last season was a sad “what if” year for Bruce Arians and his Red Menace. After an incredible start, the Cardinals suddenly lost their starting QB, their backup QB, and found themselves playing a 7-8-1 Panthers team in the playoffs with Ryan “Human Dumpster” Lindley under center. It was a whimper ending that left us all wondering what if Carson stayed healthy? Well, this season, we got that answer.

The Cardinals set the end zone on fire all year. Arizona was an offensive juggernaut and remained in contention for the number one seed all the way up til the end, even against the Panthers. Larry Fitzgerald had a year that reminded us why we all loved him in the first place. The victory over the Packers in the divisional round might have been the best game of the year. But the team looked different from Week 17 onward. If it was the loss of the Honey Badger or Carson Palmer’s finger injury that caused it, who knows. The thrashing from the Panthers wasn’t how the Cardinals season deserved to end, but we should appreciate that it got that far.

As for the Patriots? Hahahahahahahahahaha. Thank goodness we won’t be subjected to another Patriots Super Bowl appearance for at least another year. The only negative about this result is that Roger Goodell is happy about it. The Patriots make for fun Super Bowls, but at this point they’ve been there or close so often and good for so long, almost anything, even a blowout, is preferable.

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