BREAST IMPLANTS

A Nice Lady Smuggled Over Three Pounds Of Cocaine In Her Breast Implants

By | 4 Comments

Smuggling cocaine in your fake boobs is the perfect crime, until you're caught.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

Robert Downey Jr. Has Released A Statement About Son’s Cocaine Arrest

By | 33 Comments

"Unfortunately there’s a genetic component to addiction and Indio has likely inherited it."

TOTALLY NOT SPORTS RELATED

A Woman Named Peyton Manning Was Arrested For Cocaine Possession

By | 3 Comments

An 18-year old Tennessee woman named Peyton Manning offered up the headline of the day when she was arrested on cocaine and pot charges.

#FLORIDA

You’ll Never Guess What A Florida Man Named Edward Cocaine Was Arrested For

By | 7 Comments

A Florida man was arrested for possession this week and the judge pretty much lost it when he heard the name of the man.

#gifs

Beorn From ‘The Hobbit’ Is Going To Jail For Being A Real-Life Cocaine Bear

By | 5 Comments

Mikael Persbrandt plays shape-shifter Beorn in the last two Hobbit films, and his criminal conviction reminds us of the Cocaine Bear meme.

VATICAN

In A Shocking Story, Cocaine Was Seized By German Officials Headed To The Vatican

By | 3 Comments

Cocaine was found headed toward the Vatican by German officials. You'd think praying was enough.

#CONAN

Conan Rides A Mechanical Bull In Honor Of 'Dallas Week' And We Wildly Speculate Possible Alternatives

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Conan is heading to Dallas for a week of shows and he's bringing his mechanical bull with him.

#COMEDY CENTRAL

Must Watch: The Hilarious Cocaine Segment From The Series Premiere Of ‘Review’

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"Review" very well might be the funniest new show of the year. Here's a good example why.

#ARCHER

‘Archer’ Went All ‘Breaking Bad’ In A Portion Of Their New ‘Archer Vice’ Title Sequence

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Is that the organic synthesis of cocaine in the background of Aisha Tyler's portion of the Archer Vice title sequence?

#gifs

Martin Freeman Credits Cocaine For The Success Of ‘The Hobbit’

By | 16 Comments

This Martin Freeman interview from the premiere of 'The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug' is pure gold.

#STEPHEN COLBERT

Naturally, Stephen Colbert Had Something Hilarious To Say About The GOP Congressman Caught In A Coke Bust

By | 4 Comments

Tea Party Congressman Trey Radel pled guilty this week to purchasing an 8-ball of cocaine from an undercover cop. Cue Stephen Colbert.

#CONAN

Allow Conan To Show You How Bad Oreos Are For You

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Oreos are seriously detrimental to your health; as bad as cocaine is, apparently. Yes, it may be news to you and I, but Oreos are apparently THAT addictive.

studies

Horrifying Study: Oreos May Be As Addictive As Cocaine

By | 6 Comments

A recent study suggests that high sugar snacks like Oreos may be just as addictive to people as drugs like cocaine.

#Star Wars

Carrie Fisher Says She’s Coming Back For ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

By | 11 Comments

Carrie Fisher confirmed she'll return as Princess Leia in 'Star Wars: Episode VII', but it's Carrie Fisher, so it may all be a drug-fueled hallucination.

SNOW WHITE

THR profiles the Worst Oscars number of all time (with video)

By | 23 Comments

Hollywood Reporter is doing some solid work today, catching up with Eileen Bowman, an actress who, in 1989, played Snow White opposite pre-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rob_Lowe#Sex_tape_controversy" target="_blank">sex scandal</a> Rob Lowe in one of the most disastrous Oscars musical numbers of all time.

dumb ideas

‘Bang With Friends’ Will Allegedly Help You Find Friends Who Are DTF

By | 8 Comments

Here's a pro tip: if there's a friend you're dying to bang, just get some cocaine, have them do lines with you, and then go dancing. You're welcome.


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