Six Years Probation

Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor managed to avoid jail time when he was sentenced to six years probation for doing (business with) an underage prostitute. Lawrence went out of his way on Fox News to tell the world that he’s just not that kind of guy.

That’s not my M.O. I’ve been around kids and people all my life,” said Taylor, a former New York Giants Hall of Fame linebacker.

“I’m not the cause of prostitution. And sometimes I make mistakes and I may go out there, but I didn’t pick her up at no playground. She wasn’t hiding behind the school bus or getting off a school bus. This is a working girl that came to my room. And I don’t know what her age was. I asked her age. She told me she was 19. It is what it is.”

–ESPN.

It is what it is. And it is statutory rape. But whatever. It’s not like Taylor set out to commit a predatory act, or that the girl didn’t get paid. Do you know how hard it is to find an honest whore in this day and age? No, that wasn’t rhetorical. I’m asking for a friend.