Sly Stallone is Ex-PEN-dable

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(*mops brow, attempts to compose self*)

Okay, okay, Madonn’, enough horseplay. Let me tell you’s about this here fancy dragon pen.

Drawing inspiration for the theme and design of his signature pen from his wildly-successful film, The Expendables, Mr. Stallone turned to classical art and worked with Montegrappa’s artisans to create the “Chaos” pen. The pen design was cultivated by the works of 16th century artists including Battista Franco, Albrecht Durer, Hans Sebald Beham and Antonio Pollaiolo to create Mr. Stallone’s idea of Chaos; a sense of the Renaissance, when things were more simplified and perhaps more noble, placed against our current technological society.
The “Chaos” pen is the first from the “Cult” collection and is available as a limited edition of 1,000 fountain pens and 912 roller balls in sterling silver, which represents Montegrappa’s 1912 date of establishment. Additionally, 100 fountain pens and 100 roller balls in solid 18K gold and 10 fountain pens and 10 roller balls in solid 18K gold with precious stones will be available for enthusiasts of both the screen legend and Montegrappa. [from the press release]

“Engineered with smooth-glide technology for velvety-smooth lettering action — so that when it’s pushed… writin’s as easy as breathin’.”

And since I’m sure you were wondering, it goes for between $4,000 and $5,000. (Though some of their other pens sell for $30 or $40 grand). BUT WAIT, IT GETS BETTER!

Mother of God, the Montegrappa website must be seen to be believed. Be sure to turn up your headphones and/or speakers to get the full experience. If you don’t have flash on your computer and/or mobile phone, I took the liberty of getting some screencaps of the intro (all set to olive-oily Godfather music):

The only use I can imagine for this ink-squirting, hand-held Affliction shirt is as a some sort of gaudy mafia gift. Di trinket di tutti trinket, say.

“Don Carlo! I give-a you this-a gold-a skull pen, for-a to celebrate-a the day of you daughter weddeen! Maybe-a one-a day, you use it for-a to sign-a thee birth-a certificate. And if-a I may say, a-Don Carlo, Guiseppe a-wish for it to be-a the masculine a-child. Salud!”

(*dances off in speedo, flipping pizza dough*)

-A million thanks to TheCajunBoy for finding this