‘The Interview’ Has Been Shelved Completely, With ‘No Further Plans’ For A VOD Release

Well, it’s officially official. The Interview won’t premiere, it won’t be released in theaters, and Sony has “no further plans” to give it a VOD release at this time. I was hoping I’d at least get to see if the movie itself was worth all the fuss, but around 4 pm I received an email saying my press screening tonight had also been canceled. This was their statement:

In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview, we have decided not to move forward with the planned December 25 theatrical release. We respect and understand our partners’ decision and, of course, completely share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theater-goers.

Sony Pictures has been the victim of an unprecedented criminal assault against our employees, our customers, and our business. Those who attacked us stole our intellectual property, private emails, and sensitive and proprietary material, and sought to destroy our spirit and our morale – all apparently to thwart the release of a movie they did not like. We are deeply saddened at this brazen effort to suppress the distribution of a movie, and in the process do damage to our company, our employees, and the American public. We stand by our filmmakers and their right to free expression and are extremely disappointed by this outcome.”

It seems like if the entire industry had presented a united front against this from the beginning, we could laugh off “Guardians Of Peace” like the joke they seem to be. Instead, it set off a domino effect where no one wants to be held accountable in the extremely rare chance something actually does happen. There’s no point in me being the 100,000th guy with a keyboard to call this a horrible precedent and a huge blow to free speech and a sad forfeit to terrorists and… and well, whatever the hell Mitt Romney is trying to say here:

Hashtag Ebola. This man ran for president. We are truly living in some apocalyptic Terry Gilliam Dada future.

Also…

Yeah. So, I won’t say those things. Instead I’ll simply say that I was really excited to get this promotional t-shirt from The Interview at a bar last night, and now I’m worried I’m never going to find out what “PEANUT BUTTER AND JEALOUS” means.

I don’t know if I want to live in a world where this inside joke is forever lost to history. On the plus side, the shirt is very soft. I guess you’ll have to take my word for it.