If you’ve graduated college recently, there are probably tons of things you miss. Like having all of your best friends living within a mile or two, classes that don’t start until noon, and school breaks where there’s nothing to think or worry about except where you’re getting your next drink. And the one after that…and after that. And then where to get a burrito at 3am. It was questions like these that kept you up at night (that and the fact that the room was spinning).
School breaks were the best — whole swaths of time where you could just pound drink after drink, lie tipsy on the beach, and make out with that fellow coed whose name you can’t remember but was definitely in your Psych 101 class…probably.
Those were the days.
So as an officially unleashed-on-the-world adult, it may feel like all that fun is over. You may think you have to give up all the spring break debauchery in which you made poor life choices while your parents footed the bill. But we’re here to tell you that’s simply not true! Because while we can’t make your parents pay for your trip to Cancun anymore (Oh I’m cut off from your credit card now that I’m an “adult”? Good luck trying to get me to pay for your nursing home,dad!), we can tell you about some of the coolest drinking vacations in the world.
Hey, just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t have a tipsy sprang breeeeeeeeeeeeak filled with tequila shots and dancing. And these trips will make you feel classy while you’re getting your party on.
Go to a Festival Devoted Entirely to Whisky
There’s nothing that seems more adult than knowing your way around a good whisky. I don’t even think it’s possible to be considered a drunk if you’ve been drinking excellent scotch. You’re just a high powered business man sitting in his all leather office and unwinding with 5-7 drinks on a Tuesday. And the Speyside area of Scotland (just north of the Highlands) has the highest amount of Scotch whisky distilleries on earth. So if you want to get your Ron Swanson vibe popping this spring break you have to head to The Spirit of Speyside Festival.
The fest runs April 27th- May 1st and invites all whisky lovers (whether an expert or a novice) to celebrate single malt whiskies.
It’s no trifling matter, either (though there will be trifles being served). The festival has over 500 different events all centered around imbibing some of the best whisky in the world. Events include tours at distilleries that aren’t usually open to the public, auctions for rare bottles, tastings, talks, food, music, and even whisky-themed outdoor adventures. All while exploring gorgeous northern Scotland.
Explore Portland’s Craft Beer Scene
If beer is your main squeeze then there’s no better place to go for a holiday than Portland. Not only does it have the most breweries of any city in the US, but you can get delicious beer almost anywhere you go: hair salons, mini golf courses, movie theaters, strip clubs, tattoo parlors, art galleries, museums, book stores… So basically you can start drinking in the morning and just continue everywhere you go until you’re either vomiting in a gutter or passed out in your hotel room (whichever comes first!). Although, if you’re a real champion the vomiting wouldn’t stop you (what’s that? It’s your body’s way of telling you you’re in serious danger of alcohol poisoning? OKAY, MOM.).
In short, Portland would absolutely be the perfect place for a boozy, beer filled spring break.
One of the best ways to experience multiple breweries at once is to do a tour. Brewvana offers great ones and boasts having toured 68 different breweries so far. On their buses you don’t have to worry about drinking and driving, and you’ll make friends with the other lushes there (who are also ostensibly ready to drink as much beer as humanely possible). It’s a win-win. They offer all kinds of themes and different options for group sizes, so you can find a tour that caters to you and your group!
Just make sure to book early, their tours fill up.
Visit this Spa Where you Literally Bathe in Beer
Have you ever thought, I love beer so much that I would literally bathe in it? If so, you’re going to LOVE this hotel and spa in the Poconos (which feels like a real throwback to the good ole days of the 40’s and 50’s). The Lodge at Woodloch in Hawley, Pennsylvania partners with Dogfish Head Brewery to create a beer centric experience that will allow for the ultimate relaxation, without sacrificing even a minute of beer time.
They offer a beer body exfoliation blend followed by a massage, and a beer pedicure. Both of which allow you to drink a cold one while you get pampered (in case the smell wafting up from your skin gives you a craving too intense to ignore). And on select weekends the resort offers other beer activities as well — from tastings to “cooking with beer” classes. It’s a beer lover’s paradise.
Ride the Rails Straight to Tequila Town
There’s nothing that screams, “SPRAAAAAANG BREEEEEEAK” more than tequila shots. And, luckily, you no longer have to get said tequila shots dribbled down your throat at the end of the bar by a sweaty, shirtless bartender just before you pudding wrestle in a kiddie pool (just some totally normal things a college aged human might engage in). Instead, you can classily spend the day exploring the region where tequila is made (while still getting pretty drunk in the process!).
A super fun way to experience tequila country in Jalisco, Mexico is to take a tequila train experience. The full day journey from Jose Cuervo starts off in Guadalajara and takes you to Tequila, Jalisco. It includes cocktails, tequila tasting experiences, food, and distillery tours. And the views are lovely. You’ll romantically speed through fields of blue agave as you knock back the strong stuff. The cars have full bars and servers to make sure you never run out of tequila-filled cocktails. And have no fear when you get to Tequila — the tour makes sure you have lots more tastings, a boozy lunch, and shows to enjoy.
Party like the King of the World in Amsterdam.
If you want a wild all day and night party then head no further than Amsterdam. In a city already known for its partying, you don’t want to miss the biggest party of the year. On April 27th, Amsterdam celebrates King’s Day (formerly Queen’s day) on the birthday of King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands. And its absolutely nuts.
The street party involves outdoor drinking (the only time of year that you can legally drink on the streets), giant flea markets, and boat parties on the river that are so thick with boats and people that you can walk along the surfaces of the boats to get to the other side.
So put on your brightest orange finery and head to the place where the party seems to never stop and the streets are filled for over 24-hours with merriment and revelers. Just make sure to book your sleeping accommodations well in advance — the population of Amsterdam doubles for the festival.
Drink Vodka like a Pro in St. Petersburg.
Who says spring break has to be “sunny” or “warm”? Some of us would like to throw on a winter coat, a fur hat, and head to the place where vodka was invented (maybe? It’s up for debate whether vodka was invented in Poland or Russia).
St. Petersburg is home to the Russian Standard Distillery and has tons of bars specializing in vodka cocktails. So you can finally wash your palate clean from the terrible vodkas you consumed with abandon in college and develop a sophisticated taste for the clear stuff.
And there’s no better place to start your trip than the Vodka Museum in St. Petersburg. Although, “museum” is a bit of a stretch. It’s more of a small collection of artifacts (so don’t expect hours of vodka history and knowledge to float your way). But even though the museum is tiny, the real draw of the Vodka Museum is that a tour includes a vodka tasting and traditional snacks. And a museum that gets you drunk is the kind of culture that we can ALL agree on.
Follow up your tasting with more cocktails and a meal at the adjoining restaurant!
Party at an Adults Only, All-Inclusive Resort in Mexico.
If you want a more traditional “Spring Break” experience then you have to do an all inclusive resort in Mexico. It’s all of the “unlimited frozen drinks by the pool” part of spring break without having to be crowded into said pool with 200 undergrads (presumably) peeing while watching Shaggy.
One of the most luxurious all inclusive resorts you can pick is Casa Velas, in Puerto Vallarta. What I love about this resort (other than the impeccable service, pool, and beach facilities) is that the all inclusivity includes room service, and also that you can eat your dinner and do your excessive drinking IN THE SKY.
Casa Velas has ‘Dinner in the sky’ on premises. That insane dining experience where you and your dining companions are lifted 45 meters off the ground to have a trippy meal with the clouds. And if there’s anything better than being drunk on spring break, it’s being drunk on spring break while in the air, obviously.
