Now that Britney Spears is free from her conservatorship after 13 years, the singer is living life to the fullest. She’s jetted off to a private vacation with her fiancé and posted topless pictures on Instagram just for the hell of it, but she’s also been able to open up more about her conservatorship experience now more than ever. In a recent confessional Instagram post, the singer discussed how her family “deeply” hurt and embarrassed her over the years, saying she’s only now on her way to bouncing back.
After posting a series of prayers on Instagram and writing about her experience with faith over the years, Spears opened up about her music, career, family issues, and her insecurities. The singer has revealed her rigorous work schedule in the past, but she also mentioned that she was in “denial” of her situation because she didn’t want to “cause conflict.” Spears says she has now even lost the drive to make music as “a way of saying ‘F*ck You'” to her family:
“I had an experience three years ago where I stopped believing in God !!!! From every angle I was being hurt for no reason and my family was hurting me […] I screamed alone a lot and I kept all that pain to myself !!!! They say go to the source for healing … the person who hurt you … go to them and tell them … I’ve never gotten to do that. I chose the fake denial ‘everything’s totally fine’ approach because I didn’t want to cause conflict. I was NICE, FAKE and I was absolutely screaming inside. I wanted to be nice but what they did to my heart was unforgivable! I asked for 13 years to perform new songs and remixes of my old songs …. I had two months off in between each show settings for four years in Vegas … and every time I asked I was told “No…” It was a set up to make me fail yet I knew exactly what I wanted my fans to see. […]
So much wasted time to only embarrass me and humiliate me and I guess it seems odd to most now why I don’t even do my music anymore… that’s just the surface issues. People have no idea the awful things that were done to me personally … and after what I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the business!!!! They really hurt me !!!!! Not doing my music anymore is a way of saying ‘F*ck You’ in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work […] Honestly my family embarrassed me and hurt me deeply… so tooting my own horn and seeing my past accomplishments reflecting back at me actually helped. To the outside world it must seem like I’m extremely insecure and if people really knew what I went through, I think they would understand COMPLETELY where I’m coming from! It’s a shame though that people don’t like the truth!”
See Spears’ full Instagram post above.
