Deadline reports Warner Brothers has bought a pitch for a sci-fi action movie about “a rapidly evolving species of dinosaurs who attack modern Los Angeles.” We imagine the pitch meeting went like this:
John Clisham is set to direct at is writing the script with Mike Bayman. The project was originally developed by Break Media for a web series, but then a couple of Warner execs saw early test footage and acquired it for a feature film. The rest of the plot is still a secret, but we can guess how a movie about “a rapidly evolving species of dinosaurs who attack modern Los Angeles” is going to go down. And so we present our re-creation/prediction of this movie, in pictures:
First, humankind must resurrect the dinosaurs:
Yeah, that’s legit.
And, at first, we’re able to keep these rapidly-evolving dinosaurs very civilized via the clever use of hats:
But then they discover sarcasm:
And they want to experience life among the common rabble:
The dinosaurs discover alcohol and dangerous rock ‘n’ roll music:
And it turns out dinosaurs are angry drunks:
They start stalking humans:
Soon, they come up with ever more effective methods of killing humans.
We try to find experts for dealing with the situation, but even the experts can’t handle it:
And this guy isn’t answering his phone:
We appeal to a higher power, but HERE COMES A SECOND ACT TWIST:
THE POPE WAS A DINOSAUR ALL ALONG! OH SH-T, SON, WE’RE RAISING THE STAKES!
The third act opens with a dash cunning plan to blast the dinosaurs into space.
But the dinosaurs were prepared for that.
They return to Earth, and we call upon the hero Earth needs, not the one we deserve:
BOOM. Batman punching a dinosaur. Warner Brothers owns this pitch. Warner is also making The Dark Knight Rises. Think about it: sci-fi, dinosaurs, and a comic book superhero tie-in? Game, set, match.
But HERE COMES THE GRAVY PIPE ANOTHER TWIST:
Batman and the dinosaurs fall in love and make Batmandinosaurs! Who could possibly save us? We need a hero. We’re holding on for a hero till the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.
And then we discover a secret weapon:
My god, we were surrounded by the solution this whole time. Corgis always win. The Corgis send the rapidly-evolving dinosaurs back to extinction, and thus begins the reign of the Corgi:
And they remain ever vigilant:
Cut. Print. Give us our Oscars.
[Pictures via SofaPizza, ASAA, DapperDinos, Agan Harahap, Atomic Robo, TheFrogman, BWE, Fark, LATFG, Wikipedia, Mike Mitchell, Jesse Farrel, ObviousWinner, SoberInANightclub, Buzzfeed, Pleated-Jeans, Reddit, WarmingGlow, and a couple I photoshopped myself.]