Stacey Dash Just Became Unattractive*

10.08.12 5 years ago 48 Comments

In four years, we had every single intention of adding Stacey Dash to an imaginary list of sexy chicks over 50 we’d gnaw off our limb for in exchange for a week’s worth of sex. Being the ageless wonder that she is, we’ve always been in awe of her but beauty and brains aren’t always a package deal and, after a tweet she sent out yesterday, we realize the Clueless star may just be, well, clueless.

The “only choice,” Stacey? The same guy who wants to murk Big Bird and snuff Mr. Snuffleupagus? The same candidate who sharted on “the 47%,” which may not include you but likely includes most of your relatives who aren’t so well to do? We still lust love, boo. But, we’d prefer you not engage us in political conversations. It just complicates the relationship. And please don’t top things off by saying you’re a Scientoligist or another weird Hollywood religion. Mom’s a foot-washing Baptist and that would throw her off.

*Who are we kidding? We’d follow a naked Stacey into a voting booth and cast a ballot for Satan if it meant a chance to sample apple.

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