Beyond the Marvel vs. DC junk, the ceaseless merchandising, and the jaw-dropping box office returns, comic book movies are a continuation of a great childhood fantasy wherein we can run fast, fly high, hit hard, and save the day. Though the typical day spent pretending to be an adult doesn’t allow much for superhero daydreams, we thought we’d take the opportunity to quiz our staff on which Marvel Cinematic Universe character they’d like to be when they grow up. Because, though we may all walk the walk with our fancy slacks and our bill paying, most of us barely qualify as adults.
Spider-Man
Peter Parker worried about his bills, scrambled to pay his rent on time, and was never able to effectively prioritize his life. But at the end of the day (or often, during), he got to put on his costume and be Spider-Man, in all his wall-crawling glory. And once you realize that, other than the whole secret identity thing, his civilian life wasn’t all that different than a lot of ours, it makes Spidey not only an accessible way to imagine yourself as part of the MCU, but a reasonable expectation of the non-webslinging aspects of adult life. –Christian Long
Captain Marvel
We have yet to see her grace our movie screens, but Captain Marvel, you guys. CAPTAIN MARVEL. If you are unfamiliar with Carol Danvers, Kelly Sue DeConnick’s recent series is a great place to start. With her Kree-given abilities, Danvers is a badass of the highest order, with a sense of honor and sass to match. While she may not have had her moment in Captain America: Civil War like she did in the comics, she’s rumored to be featured in Infinity War (or whatever it’s called) and will get her own standalone film (Marvel’s first female fronted feature) in 2019. I wish I had half of her take no sh*t attitude and all of the perfect hair. –Alyssa Fikse
Bucky (with the good hair)
Bucky gets a lot of what I want out of life: Functional immortality. Low key bromances. All black post-goth uniforms and messy manscara everywhere. The dude even gets a cool robot arm. I’d give my left arm for a robot arm! He also never thinks about the past or mistakes he made or anything. For him, life is simple: You wake up and get to see what the future looks like, then you go on a fun adventure and kill some enemies of your cause while wearing cool fashion, then go back to sleep to wake up in a few years to be a hero again. There is no soul crushing drudgery of a day job, no boring routines, or complicated romances. You don’t worry about the future or the past, you just experience life in the moment forever. It’s kind of Zen. –Jimmy Andreakos
Batman
What? –Jason Tabrys
The Punisher (War Zone/Ray Stevenson version)
Warning: Graphic content
Even though it is not in the “A+ club” of the MCU, I thought Stevenson was a masterful Frank Castle/Punisher. I like Bernthal’s a lot, but War Zone was pure carnage that played more towards the real Punisher (vs. whatever that thing was with Thomas Jane). –Jameson Brown
The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Playing Galaga in The Avengers
When I grow up (which, because I’m in my 30s, will never happen), I want to enlist as a member of the pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier S.H.I.E.L.D. Why? So that I can slowly work my way up the Level 1 ranks, achieve the only heights possible as an avid-yet-lazy government agent, and eventually get caught by Tony Stark while playing Galaga during the second act of The Avengers. How awesome would that be? On the one hand, I’d technically be a part of the action. On the other hand, my three most important duties would be to (1) look like I’m doing my duties, (2) play Galaga on government property, and (3) duck when the fighting starts. Hashtag blessed. –Andrew Husband
So, what MCU character do you want to be?
