Jag Hags: These Colors Don’t Run

09.18.06 11 years ago 25 Comments

Many a pundit has said that the key for the Jaggiewires this evening is to match the style of the (5xSBC) Steelers, and that was tacitly understood to mean that they should play with similar physicality often exhibited by the team, and not the singularly dribbling, polkatardedness of its fans. In that respect, at least, Jacksonville has done Pittsburgh one better, even throwing in some Florida flair.

From that coruscating beacon of journalism, First Coast News:

The Jacksonville Jaguars are gearing up for Monday Night Football. The Big Cats take on the defending Super Bowl Champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers tonight. The Steelers and their fans have the “Terrible Towels.” The Jags have their teal! Jacksonville Mayor John Peyton has proclaimed Monday, September 18th, as All-Teal Day. He wants everyone to wear teal to work and school. At the game, he’s hoping to see a sea of teal as Alltel Stadium becomes All-Teal Stadium…

The game starts at 8:30 p.m. But the fun will start much earlier. Many fans plan to tailgate and get pumped up for the big game.

Holy shit, tailgating? Fuck, we didn’t think they’d have their football fandom down yet after 11 years, but hell, there you go. How many fans? Many? That’s like, more than five, right? Oh right, that’s lazy journalism jargon for “probably a lot but we can’t check.” How many Steelers fans will be in the crowd to ruin the teal motif? My guess is many. Say, how’d that teal thing work for Nick Saban last week? Oh no, don’t bother checking. I’m sure you have some lost dog story you’re leading with for 7 p.m. broadcast.

The Big Cats? This is the endearing name by which the Jacksonian Football Enthusiasts embrace their team? Dan Shanoff is crying all over his two word sentences. Crying. Jags.

And we’ve got some some Martian Macaca joining the festivities. Or should we say, the fes-TEAL-ities. Oh ho ho, make me mayor right now. No really. I’m more qualified than John Peyton. Know how I know? Because I wouldn’t declare official days to be things that would fail as office morale tactics. How about that? So, seriously, make me mayor.

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