Are you the type of person who seeks to emulate the habits of highly effective people? Are you the type of person who wants to wedgie anyone who talks about “habits of highly effective people”? Either way, you can probably laugh at parodies of the lifestyle advice that makes the rounds on social media. One of the most recent parodies started when a guy who works with cryptocurrency posted an innocuous bit of advice:
The most successful people I've met:
1. Read constantly
2. Workout daily
3. Are innately curious
4. Have laser focus
5. Believe in themselves
6. Build incredible teams
7. Admit they know very little
8. Constantly work to improve
9. Demand excellence in everything they do— Pomp 🌪 (@APompliano) June 10, 2018
Nothing about that is objectionable, per se. On the other hand, when a guy who works with cryptocurrencies posts successwin advice, it’s almost inevitably going to inspire sarcastic responses, like this one adding one more piece of advice: Don’t get into crypto.
https://twitter.com/TraderHodl/status/1006032480187527168
And some were quick to point out there are plenty of people with those same good habits who don’t have a lot of money:
https://twitter.com/sonyaellenmann/status/1006827911104684032
The original tweet went surprisingly viral, inspiring more advice across Twitter. Most of the responses kept things silly. It turns out the most successful people aren’t who you’d expect, and perhaps closer than you think.
The most successful people I've met:
1. Take good naps
2. Eat regular meals
3. Enjoy exercise
4. Like a good treat
5. Covered in fur
6. Aren't actually people
7. Are golden retrievers https://t.co/K1yNGvgadT— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) June 14, 2018
https://twitter.com/_ElizabethMay/status/1007960195379728384
Or perhaps the most successful people are, sadly, exactly who you’d expect.
The most successful people I've met:
1. Were rich
2. That's pretty much it
3. A lot of them were really mediocre
4. Some were actually stupid
5. Most were boring
6. It didn't matter, they were 'succesful'
7. In a capitalist society, wealth determines success
8. $
9. It's money. https://t.co/4TaxWsXIeG— Ben Eltham (@beneltham) June 13, 2018
https://twitter.com/DavidKlion/status/1007985301015457792
The most successful people also know how to escalate things quickly.
The most successful people I've met:
1. People who aren't me
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) June 14, 2018
The most successful people I’ve met:
1. Want nothing to do with me
2.— Rads (@_radsy) June 15, 2018
https://twitter.com/Jam_sponge/status/1007574380778545152
The most successful people might seem very familiar to you, in fact.
The most successful people I’ve met:
1. Are famous for stealing hamburgers (and the police can’t do shit)
2. Are the Hamburglar https://t.co/Xk69XOgL8h— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) June 14, 2018
The most successful people I know
1. are a fictional character in Sega's Sonic the Hedgehog series
2. are a red anthropomorphic echidna who is determined and serious, but sometimes gullible
3. have the ability to glide and climb up walls
4. Created by Takashi Thomas Yuda— 'Weird Alex' Pareene (@pareene) June 16, 2018
https://twitter.com/davidehrlich/status/1007368786901684224
Or the most successful people may have ways that seem strange to some, but they get things done.
https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/1007381418530484225
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE I'VE MET
1. HUMAN BEINGS
2. MULTIPLE SETS OF CLOTHES THEY PAID FOR
3. LAX POLICY ON POCKET HAM
4. ALWAYS PREPARED TO SCREAM THE WORD "BUSINESS" TO GET AHEAD
5. SCARED OF BIG NOISES DON'T ACT LIKE YOU AREN'T— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) June 15, 2018
The most successful people I've met:
1. Study daily
2. Eat well
3. Thrive on others
4. Are literal sharks in the ocean
5. Are one of 7 horcruxes
6. Replace their DNA w/ blockchain
7. Have eagles take them to Middle Earth
8. Own 2 dragons, 1 undead
9. Eat only the middle of Oreos https://t.co/QKCcnzzxua— Sarah Drasner (@sarah_edo) June 12, 2018
The most successful people enjoy literary references and fruit that’s so sweet and so cold.
The most successful people I've met:
1. have eaten the plums
2. that were in the icebox
3. and which
4. you were probably
5. saving for breakfast
6. Forgive me
7. they were delicious
8. so sweet
9. and so cold https://t.co/MrbSZfusSq— Babs the Spooky Scary Shark (@HockeyBabbler) June 13, 2018
The most successful people may be exactly like us, just with, you know, way more money.
The most successful people I've met:
1. Are plagued with anxiety
2. Consistently have trouble sleeping
3. Feel like they're waiting for everyone to discover they're a fraud
4. Stop in the middle of work to post 200 cat gifs to chat
5. Are surprised when things go well https://t.co/zv2TVIZXdC— Aura (MOOMANIBE@Cohost) (@MOOMANiBE) June 15, 2018
The most successful people I've met:
1. Obsess about pudding
2. Can't do any work without two hours of preliminary gossip
3. Figure out where they're going to get lunch before 10am
4. Can't remember what they're doing from day to day
5. Call it a day at 4pm. https://t.co/gxkPjzvGau— @mrchrisaddison@dizl.de (@mrchrisaddison) June 14, 2018
And last but not least, the most successful people are also determined to get songs stuck in your head all day:
The most successful people I’ve met:
1) Live in a pineapple under the sea
2) absorbent and yellow porous is he— John E. Cakes (@mattytalks) June 15, 2018
The most successful people I've met:
1. Are swift as the coursing river
2. Have all the force of a great typhoon
3. With all the strength of a raging fire
4. Are mysterious as the dark side of the moon https://t.co/V8VN2lUZpR— Seán Connolly (@TheSonicScrew) June 15, 2018
The most successful people I've met always:
1. Want to be with you
and
2. make believe with you
and
3. live in harmony
4. harmony
5. oh love https://t.co/Cmn2fg9nHy— Jeremy Nickurak – (mastodon: @atrus@toot.cafe) (@gehrehmee) June 19, 2018
The most successful people I know:
1. Dance if they want to
2. They can leave their friends behind
3. 'Cause their friends don't dance
4. And if they don't dance
5. Well, they're no friends of mine https://t.co/s5Cg24l4zD— David Pepose – Comic Book Writer (@Peposed) June 19, 2018
The most successful people I've met are:
1. Never gonna give you up
2. Never gonna let you down
3. Never gonna run around and desert you
4. Never gonna make you cry
5. Never gonna say goodbye
6. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you https://t.co/lve6iVs8Ht— Max Fagandini (@MaxFagandini) June 19, 2018
The most successful people:
1. Wake up
2. Grab a brush and put a little makeup
3. Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
4. Ask why you'd leave the keys upon the table?
5. Don't trust in my self righteous suicide
6. Cry when angels deserve to die— FartPowder (@fartpowder) June 17, 2018
The most successful people I've met
1. Get up when I want
2. Except on Wedesdays
3. When I get rudely awakened by the dustmen
4. I put my trousers on
5. Have a cup of tea
6. And think about leaving the house. https://t.co/u7PgXSANWY— Blood & Mud Rugby Podcast (@bloodandmud) June 18, 2018
https://twitter.com/Judoon_Platoon/status/1007552891975032834
https://twitter.com/martinrickman/status/1008547163641704448