Often times the products of the TV universe are even more appealing than those in reality. And in case you hadn’t noticed, there are a LOT of fake beer brands in television and movies.
In celebration of National Beer Day — why this isn’t a national holiday is an outrage — I’ve compiled this guide to some of the most popular fake brews in the pop culture universe. From Alamo to Wharmpess, these are the tastiest fictional suds of television and film. Cheers and bottoms up.
1. Alamo Beer, King Of The Hill
The pride of Texas, Alamo is the top choice for the working man who likes to drink in the alley. Nevermind that scandal where all the company’s beer was contaminated.
2. Brockman, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
The official beer of Paddy’s pub, it’s perfect for getting a buzz on when laying out the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.
3. Buzz Beer, The Drew Carey Show
Brewed through a coffee pot, Buzz beer wasn’t so much the pride of Cleveland as it was a poor competitor to Cap-Beer-Cino.
4. Chango, El Mariachi, From Dusk to Dawn, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Sin City, Desperado
Sure, it’s warm and taste like piss, but that’s part of its charm — and because they piss in it. Any place that serves Chango is bound to have rude service, so proceed with caution.
5. Dharma Initiative, Lost
It’s been on the island for the better part of three decades, so it could be a little stale.
6. Duff Beer, The Simpsons
As Duffman would say, “Who’s ready to partaaaay?!” Probably the most well-known fake beer, Duff may not have much of a reputation for taste, but it gets the job done for Barney Gumble and that’s good enough.
7. Elsinore, Strange Brew
Find a mouse in your bottle and you get the beer for free! It’s part of the Canadian Criminal Code or something.
8. Heisler Beer, Bionic Woman, Bones, Burn Notice, CSI, Desperate Housewives, Dollhouse,Happy Endings, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, My Name Is Earl, New Girl, Superbad, The Shield, Training Day, Weeds, Workaholics
Next to having a can that just says “beer” Heisler seems to be the most popular brand in TV land. It’s basically the Budweiser of movies and television and shows up everywhere from the card games of L.A. gangbangers (Training Day) to telemarketing stoners (Workaholics).
9. Jekyll Island, Dexter, Lost, The Rules of Attraction
This seems to be the choice of brew anytime Debra tried to convince Dexter to sit down for dinner and tell her “what the f*ck is going on?!” It was also the choice for the Ice Truck Killer in season one when he divulged his secret to Dex.
10. Löbrau, Futurama
Any beer that has survived over a thousand years clearly has some power and smooth drinkability, even if it is “lowbrow.”
11. Monkeyshine, Friends
Ross was always holding Marcel back, thankfully Monkeyshine brew got a hold of him and capitalized on the little primate’s beer marketing skills.
12. Norbecker Pilsner, Beer: The Movie
You can’t have a beer list of movie and TV beers and not recognize the beer from Beer: The Movie. Like the ad says, go ahead and whip out your Norbecker.
13. Red Beer, Archer
It’s been around since 1844 and is Pam’s drink of choice.
14. Rocketfuel Malt Liquor, News Radio
I had completely forgotten about this News Radio clip and now it makes me wish that Phil Hartman was around to do the voiceover for every beer ad.
15. Romulan Ale, Star Trek
Highly intoxicating and also effective for some medical purposes, Romulan Ale was the moonshine of Star Trek as it was illegal from the early 2280s to the late 2370s.
16. Samuel Jackson Beer, Chappelle’s Show
Not only will it get you drunk, but according to the brewmaster “you’ll be f*cking fat girls in no time.”
17. Schmitts Gay, Saturday Night Live
SNL has done a few beer parodies over the years (AM Beer, Coldcock Malt Liqour) but nothing has or ever will top Schmitts Gay. A couple bottles and you’ll be seeing dongs in thongs in no time.
18. Schraderbrau, Breaking Bad
Marie never appreciated Hank’s custom garage brew and the meticulous process that he went through to achieve its “silky perfection.” Probably the most potent stuff in Albuquerque after the crystal blue meth.
19. Wharmpess, How I Met Your Mother
Smooth, golden and a little nutty, it’s not beer that you’re drinking, it’s Wharmpess. Mmmm.
20. Willer, The Kentucky Fried Movie
You’re only going to be reincarnated five or six times in life, so you had better make the most of each happy hour. If a Willer is good enough for enlightened monks, it’s good enough for you.
