There it is. After the initial 16 entrants chosen by With Leather and the follow-up, fan-chosen 16, the first annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament has its brackets and is ready to begin.
Now comes the hard part: trying to decide which of these is worse than the other.
On the following pages you’ll find the match-ups listed above. You’ll be asked to reconsider the song lyrics and make your decision in the individual polls under each battle. Your votes will be the only thing deciding the winner, so vote early and pressure everyone you know to vote for your favorite entrants. Votes will count until Monday, March 18. I’m pushing for an American Males/Buff Bagwell showdown in the With Leather bracket, but I’m not gonna be aggressive about it. I also kinda want Kaitlyn to shock the world and take the whole thing.
Anyway, you made this happen, so now let’s make it big. If you don’t, Biker Taker will EXPLODE AT YOU~.
1. Undertaker – ‘You’re Gonna Pay’
“Nice guys, it’s said they always finish last. But bad asses always kicking asshole’s ass.”
16. Dusty Rhodes – ‘American Dream’
“If you are black or white, redneck funky, that’s all right! Blue-eyed with a lot of soul, common man has got his goal.”
2. Layla – ‘Insatiable’
“I’m insatiable, I can’t get enough. I need to find a boy!”
15. Ricky Steamboat – ‘Family Man’
“Loves his wife and son and does the best he can. The only wrestler who’s not hard to understand. Ricky Steamboat the dragon!”
3. American Males – ‘American Males’
“AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES!”
14. Steven Regal – ‘Real Man’s Man’
“He’s a man. Such a man. He’s a real. A real man’s man. MAAAAAAAN.”
4. Rey Mysterio – ‘619’
“Watcha’ gonna do when you’re on your back from my mean body slam? Aww damn, you’re whack.”
13. Hulk Hogan – ‘American Made’
“He was born and raised in the U-S of A. He’s got to be inspected, he’s US Grade. If you mess with the flag, it’s like a slap in his face!”
5. Billy Gunn – ‘Ass Man’
“I love to love ’em. I love to kick ’em. I love to shove ’em. I love to stick ’em. Love to flaunt ’em. I love to watch ’em. I love to pick ’em. And I’m gonna kick ’em. ‘Cause I’m an Ass Man. Yeah, I’m an Ass Man. Yes, I’m an Ass Man. (OH!) I’m an Ass Man.”
12. Jesse & Festus – ‘Biscuits And Gravy’
“Biscuits and gravy made me a man! Aw biscuits and gravy made me all that I am. Ain’t no ham-and-egger … something you’ve always been!”
6. Buff Bagwell – ‘Buff Daddy’
“Buff Daddy. I’m Buff Daddy. Buff Daddy. Buff is the stuff. Buff…… Daddy. I’m simply delicious. Buff Daddy. Buff Daddy. Buff…… Daddy. I’m so sexy.”
11. Rob Van Dam – ‘The Whole F’n Show’
“Rob Van Dam! The whole F’n show! Rob Van Dam! The whole F’n show! Van daminator! Van terminator! Van crushinator! Van assassinator!”
7. Kaitlyn – ‘Spin The Bottle’
“So why don’t you spin the bottle? Spin it right around, but aim it towards me now. Yeah, why don’t you come and spin the bottle? Push it one degree so it will point at me, ‘cause I just want to be your supermodel.”
10. Sting – ‘The Man Called Sting”
“He does this. He does that! He’s big as a bull and quick as a cat. He looks fine!”
8. Steiner Brothers – ‘Steinerized’
“Here’s the story of two brothers, Rick and Scott. They don’t use drugs and they’re always on top!”
9. Zack Ryder – ‘Radio’
“I’m gonna drink some beer tonight, YEAH! Gonna get some girls I like. I’m gonna wear my pants real tight. All the girls are gonna treat me … just right!”
1. AJ Styles – ‘I Am’
“When I fly, it’s not evil. It’s just like being Evil Knievel. I jump to the left and I roll to the right, because I try to win the belt every night!”
16. The Rock – ‘Do You Smell It’
“The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says ‘know your damn role.’ Know your role. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says ‘know your damn role.'”
2. Funaki – ‘Kung Fu San’
“Fu Naki likes to, fish for croppie while he listens, to Pavarotti. Heard he tried to be, a rap disc jockey. Didn’t work out, moved to Abu Dhabi. Guess the rest is, histor-aty. But my memory, a little bit groggy.”
15. Heidenreich – ‘Dangerous Politics’
“Heiden, Heidenreich, Hei-den-reich. Heiden, Heidenreich, Hei-den-reich. Heiden-reich, Heiden-reich. Heiden, Heidenreich.”
3. Matt Hardy – ‘Live For The Moment’
“I can slap a tornado. I can dry up a sea, yeah!”
14. Strike Force – ‘Girls In Cars’
“They pass you on the road with a smile and you have to look twice, and you wonder to yourself could a woman really look that nice. Mmmm, girls in cars, girls in cars … I love girls in cars, girls in cars.”
4. Chyna – ‘Who I Am’
“Don’t treat me like a woman. Don’t treat me like a man. Don’t treat me like you know me. Treat me for just who and what I am.”
13. X-Factor – ‘What’chu Lookin’ It’
“I’ve got everything i ever wanted and I’ll never give that back. Oh I know you hate [X-Factor] but you ain’t gotta look at me like that I say you ain’t gotta look at me like that.”
5. Jeff Jarrett – ‘My World’
“He ain’t dead, he ain’t The Rock. Don’t wanna hear your big mouth off.”
12. Too Cool – “Turn It Up”
“Turn it up! Bangin’ it, bangin’ it, bangin’ it, Bangin’ it bangin’ it, bangin’ it. Ah, that was interesting.”
6. Billy Kidman – ‘You Can Run’
”Keep acting tough, it’s gonna get creepy. All of a sudden you startin’ to feel sleepy. But in these streets when you doze off you wake up with your clothes off. It’s a shame feeling so lost.”
11. Rob Conway – ‘Just Look At Me’
“Each time I stare into that mirror baby, I just have to realize, why they all take every star in Hollywood and throw them in the sea.”
7. Hillbilly Jim – ‘Don’t Go Messin’ With A Country Boy’
“When I was a little boy baby, I cut my teeth on a big ol’ tree. Mama filled my bottle from a moonshine still. My first meal was the bear she killed. Bear she killed, the bear she killed, my first meal was the bear she killed.”
10. 2 Cold Scorpio – ‘2 Cold Scorpio’
“Who’s his opponent, he don’t care. Like the Gulf War, brother, he attacks from the air!”
8. Alex Riley – ‘Say It To My Face’
“Soon enough I’ll find you, in the dark behind you, I’ll be waiting.”
9. John Cena – ‘My Time Is Now’
“I got the whole block wishin’ they could run with my division but they gone fishin’ with no bait, kid your boy hold weight. I got my soul straight. I brush your mouth like Colgate.”
