I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

05.11.07 10 years ago 27 Comments

Kevin, you dream the dreams of America. But you don’t take it quite far enough; there’s one thing missing.

Now you’re on the trolley!

We all know that cheerleaders make everything better, so why should a trip to the beach be any different? Just imagine you’re on the run from the law a well-deserved vacation in the paradise of Punta Cana, DR (Spanish for The Island of Dr. Moreau) when the ultimate gaggle of pussy start traipsing through the virginal sand .

Professional cheerleaders are shooting their team calendar and you are given a front row seat. What do you do? What do you do? Well if that team is the New England Patriots and you’re a Masshole I guess this is the answer…

Holy shit! Somebody hold my likah!

Yep, that looks about right. Odds he got laid…5.9736×1024/1.

So this weekend while you’re hiding from the rain and/or your mother (oh sweet merciful Yaweh) just think, you could have been chillin’ in the DR with some of the hottest women to ever don the spankie. Instead of chatting up your mom you could be oiling up some ass.

So that’s where the phrase “I’d lick olive oil off her ass” comes from.

Enjoy your weekend everybody, I’m going to the beach in case some cheerleaders need a dedicated towel boy.

Gotta support the team.

photo’s courtesy of Boston.com


Because NBC screwed us out of Jenna Fischer in a two-piece I’ve decided to add a little something extra to this week’s cheerleader fix. Enjoy this spread of Jenna at her best.

Yeah, that’s the good shit.

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