The Scant Watchable Moments From Vikings-Giants

10.22.13 4 years ago 31 Comments

Monday Night Football was so undeniably awful that even ESPN on-air personalities were openly bashing it on air. This is the company that had Ron Jaworski trying to sell Tyler Palko to us. That means a lot.

Above, you have Mike Tirico calling the game bad after what should have been an Eli Manning interception. Below, Scott Van Pelt opens the postgame SportsCenter by joking that the audience just wasted three hours of their lives. Fun!

What is the takeaway? The Giants won the suckoff. The Vikings are ghastly. Josh Freeman sucks, even if you try to be fair to him and give him a break for not knowing the offense. He threw the ball 53 times to Adrian Peterson’s 13 carries. FIFTY THREE! Even playing from behind most of the game can’t justify that. And what now? Trolls are going to claim Greg Schiano is somehow redeemed despite being winless this season and that the Giants still have faint hope of frustrating everyone by making of one their trademark come out of nowhere runs to glory. Worst of all: NOT A SINGLE ELI TURNOVER.

More after the jump. This way leads to madness.

In the span of a three-hour broadcast, there were maybe six watchable minutes. Three of those were from the dependably good “Sunday Soundtracks”. I really enjoy the beginning where it segues from Cory Redding giving an impassioned speech to his Colts teammates to a referee and LeSean McCoy chatting about how Shady hails from Harrisburg.


All Josh Freeman had to do was look like a passable option at quarterback and he’d be fine for this week. Even if the Vikings didn’t win a close game, he had the readymade excuse of not fully knowing the playbook or developing chemistry with his receivers. But Freeman was plain horrible, independent of context. He missed open receivers and launched passes way out of bounds like it would gonna get him another $3 million for the year.

Yup, that bad. On the plus side, he’s become quite adept at this motion:



Freeman did have one quality pass (one out of 53 ain’t bad!) WHICH should have been a touchdown, but oop dee, it was dropped. Or possibly a nice play by Trumaine McBride. Either way: not a TD. Womp womp.

Speaking of drops, the Giants had a ton of them, Hakeem Nicks especially. After a Victor Cruz drop in the end zone, Jon Gruden complained that it should be resulted in a celebratory salsa dance before revealing he has been taking dance lessons himself. I smell another NFL figure on “Dancing With The Stars”. They are still doing that show, right?


I think the reason ESPN talent was speaking ill of this game was out of a company-wide protest that the network got stuck with it. Because, oh man, tWWL did not give a shit this evening. Tom Jackson flipped a fucking coin to decide his game pick before kickoff. Granted, that makes as much sense as some of the other dippy reasons their “analysts” give for picks.


There, Giants fans. Your team won a game. Now put your stupid paper bags away. Don’t ask us to feel sorry for you. We refuse. Also, Gi-aints? Are you trying to steal a thing from Saints fans? Dicks.


Here’s the awesome Jared Allen sack again, because we all need a pallet cleanser after that dumpster fire.

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