Saving Throw Versus Total Refreshment

Entertainment Editor
05.11.10 3 Comments

Jones Soda has released limited-edition Dungeons and Dragons themed pop [you heard me] made from pure cane sugar and, presumably, enough caffeine to kill a Tarrasque.  It’s available in the following flavors (along with my completely-inaccurate assessment of what each should taste like):

  • Sneak Attack — tastes like Coca-cola at first.  Then — bam! — frikkin’ Pepsi.  Oh, they tricked me again.
  • Potion of Healing — tastes like vodka.  Ah, vodka, you make the hurt go away.
  • Illithid Brain Juice — tastes like an elder god’s, well, not brain juice.  This one’s my favorite.
  • Dwarven Draught — tastes like a dwarf’s nutsack.
  • Eldritch Blast — tastes not so much “uncanny/eldritch” as it does “oh crap, they tricked me into drinking Dwarven Draught again.”  Blast!
  • Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer — tastes like Mountain Dew.  Does anybody want one?

It’s $11 plus shipping for a 6-pack or $19 plus shipping for a 12-pack, but really, can you put a price on tricking your friends into drinking Dwarven Draught?


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