Weekend Klearinghouse: All the news the league wanted you to miss

07.21.14 3 years ago 71 Comments

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– Marcell Dareus reported to Bills camp and failed the conditioning test and was placed on the non-football injury list. Tough break for a guy who still waiting to see what is going on with his offseason hijinks of street racing and synthetic weed. Consider us old, but synthetic weed sounds like something you pick up at Spencer’s while cruising the mall before heading to the movies on a Friday night, like all those “pills” they sold for being an asshole that were really jelly beans. Why should assholes get jelly beans anyway? They don’t deserve them.  

– St. Louis Rams linebacker Jo-Lonn Dunbar was arrested for fighting NBA free agent Donte Greene outside of a club on South Beach. No excuse for Dunbar, but shouldn’t Greene be in Las Vegas playing in Summer League or whatever it’s called when all the NBA players head to the desert and play what look to be pickup games even though their season ended about five minutes ago? 

– A new book alleges that Bernie Kosar’s recent issues with slurring his words and generally sounding drunk all the time due to an oxycodone addiction that started when the Cleveland Browns gave their star quarterback the potent pain meds. We know Kosar isn’t the only one to become addicted to pills during their time in the league and we know Kosar isn’t the only one to suffer multiple concussions during their playing years. With the ever changing settlements for CTE sufferers, one has to imagine we’re going to see a serious discussion on how the two issues meet in the very near future. 

– 49ers Aldon Smith was sentenced to 235 hours of community service in relation to weapons charges in addition to three years probation during which he is not allowed to own any weapons or ammo. Aldon’s father, Thurston Smith, is happy with the sentence and says he hopes this gives his son a chance to slow down. Because when we think of relaxing and slowing down our lifestyle, we think of court-ordered community service. It really is better than a day at the spa.

– Marcus Allen thinks the Raiders should return to LA. LA thinks Marcus Allen should shut it. 

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