Texans-Jets Live Blog, First Half

10.08.12 5 years ago 1,255 Comments

If you happen to enjoy watching the Jets get annihilated so much that you will listen through three hours of Tebow talk to get it, then I suppose this evening will be a celebration for you. Otherwise, it’s really a zero-sum contest for neutral observers. The Texans winning a huge boring blowout is the best possible outcome. Anything less than that and the narrative will be flooded with cries for more Tebow, as well as folks decrying Houston as clownfrauds for only having outmuscling a bunch of pushovers before finally being expose by Gang Green.

Oh, and it’s the 666th installment of Monday Night Football. THIS NUMBER! I CALL IT THE MARK OF THE BEAST! Anyway, Tebow is scheduled to incite holy way with Satan’s minions at halftime. Dark Prince heavily favored to take that one as well.

In other trolling developments, Jason Whitlock let out a watery word shart with a half-ass argument that Roger Goodell should cancel the remainder of the Jets season. Reading it, I thought at first that the premise was just a lighthearted joke that would eventually lead to a more serious, less insane point. Nope! Quickly, you realize that this is Whitlock, of whom nothing is light, nor does it not involve trolling.

Goodell should Just Say No to the Jets. Put them out of their misery. Spare the league the embarrassment of such a high-profile dysfunctional team. The Jets are doing far more damage to the NFL’s rep than “Playmakers” ever did.

Yup, the entire piece is a half-baked plea for the commissioner to actually cancel the rest of the Jets season. The sole underpinning logic offered to justify what would be an unwieldy and highly problematic solution to a problem that doesn’t exist is that Paul Tagliabue in 2004 forced the TV show “Playmakers” off the air because the NFL founds its depiction of the league objectionable. Really? That’s not even trying. Because a TV show is just as easy to replace as an NFL franchise IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEASON WITH 11 MORE GAMES STILL SCHEDULED AND TICKETS PAID FOR. That wouldn’t be IMPOSSIBLE at all. OH GOD, WHY AM I TAKING SOMETHING WHITLOCK WROTE SERIOUSLY!?

Anyway, I’ll be here all evening if you wanna watch this NFL torture porn together.

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