KSK Mock Draft: Sandwiches

04.25.14 3 years ago 397 Comments

Well I guess it’s time for a flame war. Sandwiches are perhaps the most versatile food medium there is. Legend has it that they were invented by an English landowner – the “Earl of Sandwich,” but I guarantee you they were invented by his lowly serf. The sandwich is a working man’s food and you just know Earl ate his with a fork and a knife.

Nonetheless, we here at KSK will now attempt to draft the 20 most delicious sandwiches that exist. No desserts allowed, sorry Chipwich.

1. StuScottBooyahs selects – The pastrami sandwich


Goddamn. Just LOOK at that thing. It makes me wish it was lunchtime all the time.

2. Sarah Sprague selects – A baked Italian hoagie

Baked Hoagie 1

A REAL baked Italian hoagie with mortadella, capicola, soprassata salami and genoa salami, not just pepperoni and hard salami on top of plain ham. Provolone, vinegar and oil with dried herbs, run through a pizza oven until the edge of the bread is crusty and the cheese has melted and the meat is hot all the way through melding everything together, finely shredded lettuce (not too much) and the thinest yet-still-important tomato slices for moisture and sweetness.

You can find hoagies in LA, but they’re often off in the meat combination and finding a baked one is even harder, if not impossible. Don’t know why everyone is afraid of baking them. We all know a baked hoagie is great cold or reheated the next day.

(EDIT –  Eric do you mind if I sub out (see what I did there?) the hoagie photo for another one? THAT CHEESE IS NOT MELTED AND THIS GOT ME OUT OF BED AND NOT JUST ANSWERING EMAIL ON MY PHONE FOR THE PAST HOUR AND A HALF.  – SS)

3. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – French dip

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There is something magical about dipping a delicious meat sandwich in its own drippings, then pretending you’re fancy and calling it “jus”.

4. Trevor Risk selects – Grilled cheese

The Perfect Grilled Cheese Sandwich 800 1581

Whether it’s the kind that your mommy made you when you’re home sick from school, watching Bob Ross, or some swanky lunch joint that makes it on house-baked sour dough with horseradish Monterrey jack, the grilled cheese is a reliable, lunch pail pick.

5. Old James selects – Meatball sub


You can belch nine hours later and still taste what you had for lunch. THAT’S the mark of a good sandwich.

6. Eric Sollenbegrer selects – Philly Cheesesteak


Woo! The best sandwich there is and it’s not close. Now, it is possible to make a god awful philly, and I’ve had my fair share of those, but a well-executed one is as close as you’ll get to heaven on a couch. Definitely a sandwich that you need to plan your naps around though.

7. Big Sandy selects – Peanut butter and jelly


Wow. We’re in a “best sandwich” draft and Peanut Butter & Jelly falls to 7th??? This is worse than Bowie over Jordan. These people probably would have taken Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning. PB&J is a stalwart. It is also perfection; salty & sweet, simple yet with so many possible variations (grape jelly? strawberry? creamy or chunky?) The rest of you can have your fancy sandwich while you wear your monocles. I’ll be over here with my PB&J.

RobotsFightingDinosaurs: They may call me a madman. And they may be right. But there are few greater joys in life than a PB&J&Sriracha sandwich.

Sarah Sprague: Counterpoint: PB&J are soft mush. Plain PB > PB&J.

Big Sandy: If it’s soft mush you’re doing it wrong!

8. PFT Commenter selects – A hot dog


Truley the perfect sandwich.

9. Christmas Ape selects – The reuben


Though my favorite is a turkey reuben that this wine bar I worked at in college makes. Only thing I order whenever I go back.

Grilled panini-style sandwich with oven-roasted turkey, havarti cheese, white wine-reduced sauerkraut, and asian pear cranberry chutney on rustic bread.

10. Johnny Sugar selects – Beef on weck

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Buffalo’s other famous food, although it’ll never be as big the chicken wing. A roast beef sandwich on a kummelweck roll, wish plenty of horseradish. Fucking amazing. Bourdain had a few of these when No Reservations came to Buffalo, and I couldn’t help swelling with town pride. Made me want to steal back someone’s lemon tree!

11. Johnny Sugar selects – Spicy chicken crisp from Burger King

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Ok, I went cool and picked a local delicacy, so NOW I get to be fucking honest: I eat about 30 of these a week. Only a dollar and beyond fucking delicious, especially when you order extra firecracker sauce. The Chick-fil-A ones might be better but they don’t exist in uffalo, and Burger King’s CEO has never publicly said awful shit about gay people, so….

12. Christmas Ape selects – Banh mi


Gotta get some veggies to counter all the meat in my reuben.

Because it’s only partially meat, you see.

13. PFT Commenter selects – The flattiza from Subway


Gotta give it up for the flattiza at Subway. God knows how they did it but they turned a pizza in to a sandwich.

SUBWAY HACK: You can bring youre own Fritos and turn it into a crunchamuncha.

14. Big Sandy selects – Fried oyster po’ boy, fully dressed.

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I think my proclivities for all things New Orleans has been fairly transparent so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Throw in some cold dixie beer and a basket of cajun fries and a bottle of Crystal’s hot sauce and you’ve got a full cajun heaven, complete with new conspiracy theories about Goodell.

15. Eric Sollenberger selects – B.L.T.


Simple and awesome. I’m going to toss some avocado on there and look, now I’ve got myself the perfect sandwich.

Sarah Sprague: Almost my first pick because it’s always what I order. A classic and even a bad one is good. (Place by here does theirs with camembert and it’s amazing.)

RobotsFightingDinosaurs: I have ordered BLTs before and been served bologna instead of bacon. I’m not usually an angry person but I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed in any of those places anymore.

16. Old James selects – Burnt end on bun


Most barbecue joints worth the salt in their rub have burnt end sandwiches. But if you want a real burnt end sandwich, you get your ass to KC and try one from Gates.

(Speaking of KC, there’s a place here that serves up a BLT with a fried egg on top. It’s as amazing as it sounds.)

17. Trevor Risk selects – Whichever sandwiches the Detroit Grand Pubahs are singing about


I know you wanna do it
You know i wanna do it too

18. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – Sloppy joe

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Sloppy joes are wonderful. It was like, one of the only things my school’s cafeteria got right as a kid. And as an adult, cooked by professionals, or even on your own with chili powder and a shitload of ground beef. They’re tough to fuck up, and when you do it right, oh man. Sweet, savory, spicy, and wonderful. Again, if I had Scrooge McDuck money, right next to my jelly belly pool, I’d have one full of sloppy joe meat.

19. Sarah Sprague selects- The most Pittsburgh of sandwiches, even above Primanti’s, a Turkey Devonshire.

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Had a really hard time picking my second favorite sandwich. A really hard time. Love caprese sandwiches but they’re hit and miss. BLT was already drafted, I love hot turkey sandwiches with gravy, but I also really like a good croque monsieur with all the hot ham, melted cheese and bechamel sauce. And then I remembered, I could have all four sandwiches in one. A proper Turkey Devonshire is toast, topped with turkey, then a cheese sauce made with cheddar, milk or cream, chicken stock and seasoning, usually paprika. Then add more cheese, some tomato slices, stick the whole thing in the oven until melted. THEN top with a couple of slices of bacon.

20. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – Chicken salad


I’ll go with the good old fashioned Chicken Salad Sandwich. No fuss, just chicken and mayonnaise on bread.

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