The Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2010

Senior Contributor
12.30.10


As we come to the end of the year, in fact the end of the decade, we find ourselves looking back on a truly joyous year of lists from our friends and family across the internet.  The end of the decade was a great one for lists.  All sorts of lists, too; it seemed the list had suddenly become the primary way the Internet communicates with the world.  And, just like you’ll hit a target if you blast it with a Vulcan cannon, there were many great lists.  So many great lists that we, in fact, decided we needed a list of them.  So, here it is, the Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2010.  That cough you hear is metahumor’s last gasp.

10. Gawker’s Top Ten Colleges for Student Debt

Personally, I owe my school a Buick.

Student debt was in the spotlight this year, as a whole bunch of people hit thirty and realized that they owed somebody the sticker price of a decent car…a Kia, if they were lucky, a Lexus if they weren’t.  Sure, a lot of studies were done about which student body owed the most, but Gawker broke it down into the top ten universities that will make your wallet bleed.  Something to think about, especially, apparently, if you’re going to a state school with a decent football team.

9. BroBible’s Top Ten Most Embarrassing Athlete Endorsements

Really not helping with that whole "wanting to punch you" thing, Tom.

Commemorating Tom Brady becoming a complete wuss by endorsing Uggs, BroBible broke down the secret shame of ten professional athletes who really should have weighed the cost to their masculinity (and dignity) against the check they were cashing.  Where this list really shines is digging deep; it’s got everything from forgotten national campaigns from the ’70s to the embarrassing local ad the endorser obviously did for a new car.  It’s a vein of YouTube gold, courtesy of the bros.

8. Huffington Post’s Top Ten YouTube Suggestions for the Guggenheim Museum

Pictured: the only four tolerable art hipsters.

In honor of the Guggenheim falling for the trendiness of crowdsourcing, and no doubt to help it through the legions of 4Channers recommending “Trolololo”, HuffPo took the liberty of suggesting ten clips that might actually be worthy of the Guggenheim’s hallowed halls.  Ranging from funny to arty to touching, it’s a well-curated selection of some of the best (and, OK, funniest) YouTube has to offer.

7. The Chive’s Top Ten Hottest Anonymous Women

No, we don't know her name. That's the point.

Internet celebrity is a strange beast.  One day you post a photo on Facebook, the next you see it featured in Demotivators and ads to help you “find sexy ladies in your area!”  There are thousands of photos of hot women, all of them nameless.  The Chive took it upon themselves not only to select the top ten, but actually put the Internet to work and put names to faces so these anonymous models could get the credit, and possibly the stalkers, they deserve.

6. Moviefone’s Top Ten Most Controversial Movies of All Time

Malcolm McDowell Is Watching You Rank Things.

Depending on who you talk to, every year is the worst year ever or the best year ever for movies.  We’re just going to say 2010 featured Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis having sex, and move on.  Moviefone, though, decided to compile a detailed list of controversial movies, proving two things: one, that sex in movies is always controversial, and two, that any movie about Jesus is going to annoy somebody.  Good thing nobody’s combined the two yet…we hope.

5. College Humor’s Top Ten Viral Videos of The Year (So Far)

Pictured: The one good thing American Idol has done for us in ten seasons.

If there’s one problem with Internet culture, it’s that knowing your meme is a pain in the butt.  The CH crew, of course, keeps up to date as much as humanly possible, which make their top ten recaps both highly useful and highly entertaining, especially if you’ve got nothing to do at work like most people.  But this one is our favorite, if for no other reason than “Pants On the Ground” remains the one time “American Idol” showed a glimmer of anything resembling truth, beauty, or joy.

4. Pajiba’s 4th Annual Ten Most Bangable Celebrities On The Planet

Can we have them both?

Let’s face it, when it comes to celebrity, it’s not talent, or looks, or skills, or personality…it’s whether or not you can get in their pants.  Pajiba does us all the favor and cuts right to the gist with the ten celebrities of the screen, large and small, humanity would most like to do the nasty with.  It ranks as high as it does because the number one, which we won’t spoil, is…a bit of a surprise.  And we’ll leave it at that; you’ll have to read the list.

3. The Smoking Jacket’s Ten Barchetypes

Our bartender never looks like this. Which is why we drink.

Everybody loves bars.  Whether they’re an escape from the modern world, a place to find a date for the night, or just a place to destroy your liver, bars are the greatest drug distributors in the Western world.  The Smoking Jacket, though, delves deep to define ten different types of bars, finally giving name to the ineffable qualities that we need in our drinking establishments.  And also makes some controversial choices; just because a strip club serves alcohol, does that actually make it a bar?  Especially when the liquor is watered down?

2. Cracked’s Top Ten Most Important Things They Didn’t Teach You In School

Ah, high school, leaving us totally unprepared for the real world.

Cracked sits atop the Internet comedy heap, of course, having pioneered fact based lists and helping certain authors, like yours truly, afford the Milwaukee’s Best that keeps us writing.  But while the majority of the articles are written by the site’s studly and brilliant freelancers, the editors rarely get their due.  Which is why David Wong’s list of ten classes needed for our national school system is a welcome reminder of what makes the site truly great.  It’s insightful, intelligent, painfully true, and also doesn’t feature anything about pop culture, which is a nice added bonus.

1. Ugo’s Eleven Greatest Fails of 2010

OK, so we’re cheating: this is a top eleven.  But let’s face it, 2010 was a year that had a lot of failure in it.  Failure of Democrats to keep both Houses of Congress.  Failure of hipsters to comprehend why nobody likes them.  Failure of Kanye West to seem remotely like a normal human being.  UGO wades in with a machete to winnow down the worst: sure, you have your own opinions, but, in the end, you’ve got to admit all eleven are pretty high up there.

Here’s to a new decade, full of epic lists, epic comedy, and lots of misuse of the word “epic”.  And, hopefully, more explosions.  Because life can always use more explosions.

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