2011: The Year Sex Jumped The Shark

12.08.11 6 years ago 25 Comments

America enjoys going through and celebrating its periodical “sexual revolutions.” The “Free Love” era still gets thought of fondly by your grandparents. Your parents and older siblings crank up Prince and remember when coke ruled and AIDS was a myth. Those events, though, were all before my time. I think the first sexual revolution I was alive to witness came around 1998, coinciding with my own early teenage years and understanding of exactly what the next step beyond hunching was.

In 1998, sex hit the mainstream like never before thanks to the most famous blowjob in human history. The year was dominated by CNN covering cum stains and the many uses of cigars. Suddenly, topics barely broached on late night TV were being discussed on national television while people were putting cream in their morning cups of coffee. During that same year, Pamela Anderson had one of the first ever sex tapes release on the Internet. Meanwhile, creeps were counting down the days before a then 17-yeard-old Britney Spears was old enough to fap to without going to jail. As sex was becoming more open and discussed, it was also becoming more private as the world was able to discover all of its sexual fantasies at the luxury of a personal computer. And things have only gotten more extreme since.

Sex scandals have become the most important news stories and you probably just watched midget bukkake before entering this article. But if you put down the cocoa butter for a brief second, you’ll notice something weird happening in 2011. Sex seems to have jumped the shark.

Stories of celebrity blowjibbers and Tiger Woods’ Perkins romps have been replaced by something darker. Stories we have no interest in hearing. Jerry Sandusky. Robert Fine. Eddie Long. These stories don’t entice us. They disgust us. I read once how porn has affected men’s sexual desires. While we may start off just watching missionary or doggystyle porn, the desire to see more will soon take over and it’s only a matter of time before we’re watching women gagged and tied. The next thing you know, we’re expecting our lovers to deep throat and do anal because it’s what we watch everyday. I think the media has succumbed to the same trend. Our interest in celebrity sex scandals was just a gateway to the foul shit we’re reading and watching in the news now.

But it’s almost as if we’ve spent the last 14 years blowing the hugest load in American existence that normal sex news doesn’t even get us up anymore. Take the example of the Suelyn Medeiros’ sex tape which dropped a several days ago. In the video she’s giving a blowjay and bent over taking it from the back. One of the hottest women on the internet has her boobs and picture-perfect ass exposed. However, most reviews were pretty much the same: boooooring! What more did we want? Did we expect her to take a facial of assorted fruits? Did we need leather and barbed wire involved? Or, y’know, have sex like a normal human being?

So this is the state of sex in the mainstream. In its waning seasons as a television franchise, sex has taken sadistic child molesting plot twists and ho-hum sex tapes tropes so far that we’ve grown tired of devoting any emotional response to them. Popular characters like Blowjob Billy and Sex Tape Pam have been replaced by unnecessary, depraved characters like Jerry Sandusky and Herman Cain. But after having seen it all, we’re desensitized and too numb to care. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on the show before it goes even further overboard. Right now, I think we’re all ready to change the channel for fear of what (or who) comes next.

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