Because B-More Has Too Many Dahhhhkies For Massachusetts!

01.09.09 9 years ago 29 Comments

From a concerned and troubled reader in a troubled city:

“It’s bad enough that I have to be a Titans fan living in fucking Baltimore city. Its bad enough that I have to see these slobbering cock-gobblers every day as I go about my business, walking around in their old, stained ravens super bowl sweatshirts and fucking-unbelievable-that-they-choose-to-dress-themselves-that-way purple camo. This is the team I most loathe (well, Patriots too, but we’re not talking about those grundle-munchers right now, are we?), and I’m surrounded by their fans. I will be this Saturday when we play. The prospect of us Kerry Collins boozing up before the game and lofting one to Ed Reed haunts my dreams and if we lose I’d rather have a bleach chugging contest with myself than see one moment of Ray Lewis dancing around in joy. But now Steve McNair, pride of the Titans for so many years but one of many to defect to these purple dog-fuckers, is hosting a Ravens pre-party in Nashville. He even denied it at first, his agent proclaiming him a Titan fan for life, but now the truth has come out. My blood boils. Then I find out its a pre-party planned by that gel-haired jackass fucking moron of a radio man whose commercials haunt my television, bringing the Ravens into the safety of my home. Once I calmed down was able to see straight enough, I looked again at their poster. Apparently the party benefits the Ronald McDonald house of Baltimore, MA. Hang on. Baltimore, MA? ARE YOU TELLING ME THESE MONGOLOID SCROTSUCKERS DON’T EVEN KNOW THE PROPER ABBREVIATION FOR THEIR OWN STATE?!?!? Then again, I’m not sure why I’m surprised. Say what you will about Tennessee (and you will), but can anyone be dumber than Ravens fans? FUCK.”

“Their website tells me they are less than 24 hours away from all heading down on a bus together to my hometown. I know you guys talk to God now and then, any chance you can get him to run that bus off the road? Into a river? And strike that motherfucker with lightning a few thousand times? Thanks so much.”

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