Happy 50th Birthday, Rex And Rob Ryan

12.13.12 5 years ago 32 Comments

Though by no means is it a given, there’s a fair chance that Rex Ryan will be fired by the Jets after the season. Not that such a sh*tcanning would be entirely unwarranted. While I’m sure the Jets would benefit from having someone other than Mark Sanchez as the team’s starting quarterback, the once-stifling defense that took Rex’s teams to back-to-back AFC Championship Games have been increasingly vulnerable these past two seasons, for reasons beyond Darrelle Revis being hurt.

Even should Rex no longer be a head coach, he’ll likely return to his job as defensive coordinator for some team, a specialty his brother, Rob, has enjoyed for some time. Rex will then be replaced by a more disciplined-sounding coach who is no fun, because people with personalities don’t succeed as head coaches. You must be a horrible, obsessive misanthrope like Bill Belichick or Nick Saban. So let us enjoy the pussytubing while it lasts.

Anyway, best and filthiest birthday wishes to the NFL’s most enjoyable coaching brothers. That’s right, f*ck off, Harbaughs. I hope there’s an awesomely debauched party planned in Rob’s Econoline van.

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