No Need To Worry, ‘The Brass’ Has An Idea

11.09.09 8 years ago 32 Comments

Another week, and another demoralizing loss for the Redskins. As if things weren’t quite bad enough the team will now have to do without Clinton Portis for a while after the running back sustained a concussion in Sunday’s loss to the Falcons. But fear not, Redskins fans, because Danny and the Sarge (pictured above looking like assholes) know how to keep the offense running smoothly in Portis’ absence.

If you think their plan has anything to do with leaning heavily on the perfectly capable legs of Ladell Betts (93 yards and a touchdown on 16 touches in relief of Portis) then you obviously aren’t all that familiar with the brain-trust at Redskins Park.

/chokes on half-smoke

Damn, they managed to catch me off guard with that one. After all this time you’d think that nothing coming out of Ashburn could possibly surprise me, then they go and admit to something like this.

Let me be perfectly clear, the Redskins have NOTHING to gain by signing a malcontent prick halfway through the season. Especially one who averages 2.7 yards per carry. The man carries the football the way DeAngelo Hall tackles people (a hug is not a tackle!). And really, even if they were looking at the 2006 Larry Johnson, what is the fucking point? Do they think that this season is somehow salvageable? Do they think that running back depth is the real problem? DO THEY REALIZE THAT LEVI JONES IS THEIR STARTING LEFT TACKLE?

Dan Snyder, you need to break this shit down. Break it down to the foundation, then grab a jackhammer and a backhoe and go deeper. Then when you have a nice big hole, throw Vinny Cerrato in it and hire an actual GM to come in and start rebuilding the foundation (that way Vinny can still feel like he’s a part of things). Redskins fans won’t even care if the team goes 4-12 next year as long as you lose Vinny, ignore free agency, load up on draft picks, and use said picks on guys who play any position other than wide receiver, tight end, defensive back, running back, or quarterbacks (at least during the first day).

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