Scouting Report on NFL Scout Nolan Nawrocki: F

02.18.14 4 years ago 47 Comments

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No matter what team you root for when the lights come on on NFL Sundays we can all agree that the best part of the NFL season is the 3 months after the Superbowl and leading up to the draft. Thats when guys like Mel Kiper Jr and Todd McShay say alot of honest things that sometimes they disagree with so they can argue and we can love watching them. Yesterday, a upstart name Nolan Nawrocki gave his takes on Johnny Football and J’Dayveo’n CLOWNey:

Suspect intangibles — not a leader by example or known to inspire by his words. Carries a sense of entitlement and prima-donna arrogance seeking out the bright lights of Hollywood. Is known to party too much and is drawn to all the trappings of the game. … Has defied the odds and proven to be a great college-system quarterback, but still must prove he is willing to work to be great, adjust his hard-partying, Hollywood lifestyle and be able to inspire his teammates by more than his playmaking ability.

Just a outstanding take. Johnny seems like a good kid though,, a little to flashy to me but I’ll say it this way Id rather meet his parents then Cam Newtons. Smart take that no quarterback whose partied has ever enjoyed success in the NFL.

But lets dive in- the most important part about draft season is doing your scouting on the scouts. You need to get your information from reliable sources.

Nolan Nawrocki- Who he is? I’ve never heard of him? Heres a good video to get you up to date:

He is a king of STRONG DRAFT TAKES, except hes never right. Nolan use to play football at University of Illinois which actualy yes has a football team, and Nolan was good enough to make one tackle in his entire career, which ties him with some Germen tennis fans, and is really unimpressive because you play Indiana every year. Despite having a playing career that Sean Glennon would call “unremarkable”, Nolan still wanted a career in football so he joined up with ProFootball Weekly to buy them coffee and touch there balls whnever they felt lonely or whatever. Then some fella croaked and Nolan found himself in the spotlight and needing to make a name for himself somehow. Now hes a writer for the NFL network.

Whats his take?You know whats boring as a football fan? Reading about how a player is good at stuff. In the NFL its not what your good at- its what your less not good at that makes the difference. Nolan saw that there was a massive C.C. Brown sized hole in NFL coverage so he decided he was going to start covering the REAL important stuff, like a players SPI (smiles per interview)and OYMF (Outstanding Young Man Factor). Hes made a name for himself recently by absolutely ripping a part 1st round busts like Cam Newton and Jonny Manziel.

Upside: Isnt Mel Kiper.

Downside: Looks like Matthew Barrys liver. Major Character issues. By “character” issues I mean he sounds like a Mel Blanc cartoon that fucked George Wendt from Superfans. Looks like a penis IMO. Doesnt get any of his predictons correctly ever. Seriously not one. I could do an better job then Nolan by looking at Todd McShays board and dropping all the Black players 5 spots which isnt far from my proprietery draft grading formula but I’ll never tell.

Red Flag: He stumblels over his words like he knows hes a fraud and lying to us all and really doesnt know anything but is just a product of the oversaturation of NFL media and doesnt actualy bring any insight or knowledge to the table besides being a scouts verion of a “stand your groud” law.

Red Flag: Uncomfortable on camera in his own skin- could be a Michael Sam type no offense? Obviously hes not a natural at anything except losing his hair and the fact NFL network doesnt let him anywhere near the len’s side of a Television camera tell you all you need to no about his personal hygeine. Is a me first Hollywood type minus having pepole that want to hang out with him.

Red Flag: Disingenous smile that is almost inpossible to find on a google image search. Could be a Face-Off type situaton where he changed skin with David Duke IMO.

Overall analyst grade: F. Like if you gave Pete Prisco CTE and threw him in a cement truck filled with krokodil and a barn owl who had access to teenagers wonderlic scores.

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