Cincinnati’s own Dana Stubblefield has been sent to jail for stealing his girlfriend’s mail. Whoa whoa whoa, stealing mail is a crime? This was inevitable as long as the postal service kept making stamps more expensive. Yeah, I didn’t think that was funny either. Stubblefield went to three Pro Bowls during his 11-year NFL career, but since he’s been dis big fat mail thief now, I wonder if any of those invites to Honolulu were actually his.
Stubblefield, who was sentenced Thursday in U.S. District Court in San Francisco, had admitted to turning in a change-of-address form to have his former girlfriend’s mail (and her unemployment checks) delivered to him.
Last year, in connection with the Balco case, he was placed on probation after pleading guilty to lying about his steroid use as a player. Stubblefield played for the San Francisco 49ers, Oakland Raiders and Redskins from 1993-2003.
Stubblefield is scheduled for 30 days in jail, so he might serve, like, a week. To be fair, dude totally has a girl’s first name. If he had dotted the i in his last name with a little heart, he probably never would have been caught.