A Short List Of Things More Important Than Pro Bowl Selections

12.27.12 5 years ago 26 Comments

The Pro Bowl is stupid and pointless, but everyone already knew that. That only makes the annual uproar over the announcement of the rosters all the more enervating. You get fanboys upset that their favorite player got passed over for somebody else, even though said player will make it once the other player inevitably drops out of the Pro Bowl sometime in the next month. You get humorless so-called experts explaining who should have made it, which only serves as an masturbatory exercise in said expert trying to prove that they know more about football than their audience or the fans, coaches and players who voted for the roster. That this nauseating discussion is about a game that is never fun to watch only makes it even more excruciating.

So here is a far from comprehensive list of things you would be better off thinking about:

Best of 2012 lists.
Worst of 2012 lists.
Best of best of 2012 lists.
Potato bread.
Whatever cutesy bullshit Google is doing with its front page.
Today’s weather forecast.
Warrantless wiretapping reauthorization.
Frozen broccoli.
Fresh broccoli.
A movie being remade even though its appeal is strongly tied to the context of the era it was released.
Meetings of the local zoning board.
That sound your car is making.
Whether Twitter is winning the social media war for live TV coverage.
Your rent increasing.
Good names for children you never plan on having.
If that roadwork is still going on near that thing you want to go to.
Netflix streaming “Garfield & Friends”.
What you’re doing for New Year’s.
People making bad jokes about the fiscal cliff.
Why more people didn’t RT your bad joke about the fiscal cliff.
Your hopes and dreams.

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