Better Know A Former Backup QB: Rob Johnson

04.24.14 3 years ago 53 Comments

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In order to get you through the drudgery of the off-season we here at KSK are cranking up the nostagia machine and looking at some of the immortal backup quarteracks in NFL history. You’ve loved some of these guys, and utterly fucking loathed others, but you definitely remember them. Either way, you might be wondering what they’ve been up to since, so that’s why we proudly present our new series, Better Know A Backup Quarterback. Today, we look at former Jaguars, Bills, Buccaneers, Redskins and Raiders quarterback Rob Johnson.

– Played his college ball at USC.

– Was drafted by the Jacksonville Jaguars in 1995 with the 99th overall pick of the draft, in the 4th round.

– Was traded to the Buffalo Bills for a first-round draft pick in March 1998, better known as When Professional Football Was Murdered In Buffalo.

– Was given the starting job over Doug Flutie because of one good performance in a completely meaningless game because Wade Phillips is a fucking idiot.

– Due to his ability to get tons of money for one or two good games, but playing like crap when it actually matters, should be known as the proto-Matt Flynn, but for some reason no one has made this connection.

– Won a Super Bowl with the Buccaneers in 2002 as Brad Johnson’s backup. Everyone in the NFL sadly missed the obvious chance to refer to the duo as Johnson & Johnson, while making Ozzy Osbourne’s “No More Tears” their theme song.

– Once held onto to the ball for a play that lasted the entire duration of Jethro Tull’s Thick As A Brick. Was sacked for a 43-yard loss.

– Johnson’s Super Bowl ring with the Bucs is probably the number one point of rage for Bills fans. Seriously, go to any Buffalo bar, bring this up, and watch 46 uber-drunk Bills fans simultaneously have an ulcer.

– In high school, was voted Most Like To Be Loathed By An Entire Fan Base Even Though If You Go To Pro Football Reference His Stats Actually Aren’t That Bad.

– Upon quitting football, moved to Hawaii, legally changed his first name to Jack, and has been recording chill-bro acoustic music ever since.

– Has not worn cleats – or any other kind of footwear other than flip-flops – since retiring from football.

– Has a tattoo of Emerson Lake & Palmer’s Love Beach album cover across his entire back.

– Is also Jason Mraz.

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