Hippity-Hop To Blame For Fan Bloodthirst, Says Codger

04.10.12 5 years ago 27 Comments

Why do people complain that the NFL has gone soft? Is it because football has had to undergo some awkward but perhaps necessary changes so that the league doesn’t get sued out of existence? Apparently not! Fran Tarkenton says it’s nothing but the goldurned hippity-hop that has warped young minds with the yo yo yoes and the what up derogatory form of address for a female.

“I think (people who say the NFL has gone soft are) out of line,” Tarkenton said when speaking to ESPN Chicago’s Waddle and Silvy. “I think it’s the gangster rap and this and this and all the stuff and we are going to go out and knock their head sideways. It’s all wrong.”

We’ve enjoyed Fran Tarkenton’s outspoken grumblings when they’ve been directed at Brett Favre or picking fights with Bobby Hebert. But I’m sorry, but we will not countenance him laying the blame for our unquenchable blood lust at the feet of a music subgenre that faded from influence 15 years ago. No sir! If anything, this is an indictment of the hip-hop of today. You guys aren’t doing anything to get blamed for the downfall of society by old white guys, who have to take it back to the ’90s to invoke their rap boogeyman. C’mon, stoke some fear. Don’t worry, I’m sure Drake is on it.

Anyway, it’s good that Tarkenton has only dabbled in things like white-collar crime, which you certainly can’t pin on rap lyrics, unless you count Jay-Z.

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