Joe Flacco Quits Being Dull, Starts Using Real Talk, Calls Cold Weather Super Bowl ‘Retarded’

01.29.13 5 years ago 43 Comments

Joe Flacco knows he’s a boring, unibrowed wet blanket and he doesn’t care if you know it too so long as you think he’s elite. Flacco’s dad admitted to the New York Times this week that he thinks his son is dull. Not much of a shock given that until just a few years ago, Flacco was still living in his parents’ house despite being a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Now that he’s made it to the Super Bowl, it looks like Joe wants to spice it up a little, mostly by using a derogatory term to express his disdain for a Super Bowl played outside in cold weather.

“Yeah, I think it’s retarded,” Flacco said at his Super Bowl press gathering Monday. “I probably shouldn’t say that. I think it’s stupid. If you want a Super Bowl, put a retractable dome on your stadium. Then you can get one. Other than that I don’t really like the idea. I don’t think people would react very well to it, or be glad to play anybody in that kind of weather.”

It would hypocritical of us to chide Flacco for casually referring to stupid things as retarded. We can’t pretend to be offended. We do it all the time. That would be retarded of us. But there are a lot of people out there who consider it inappropriate. Elite quarterbacks must have better semantic discipline!

RGIII got in trouble earlier this season for dropping the retard-bomb in a press conference, so it’s not like Flacco is alone. Where we find fault with Flacco is giving Peter King ammunition to bitch about how he’ll have to spend the Super Bowl next year in New York being cold.

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