You know what Penn State Needs? A Schiano Man

12.29.13 4 years ago 12 Comments


Greg Schiano is to perfect a coach for the NFL. His hard nose tactics wont work on players who all ready have the most coke-crusted nostrils north of South beach- that much is clear. The Bucs once again find themselves staring down the barrel of another 4 win seasoon, and the only thing firing on fewer cylindars then the Tampa Bay offense is the Cannons in Raymond James Stadium. Thats why its bittersweet to hear this morning that Schiano and Penn State are both extremely interested in making Greg the next Head Coach of the Nittany Lions if Bill O’Brien weasels his way out of his contract there.

Lets call a spade a spade here- Penn State is the ultimate college destination for a coach with Staff problems. I had a little fun with it and said if Penn State wanted to bring Schiano in they should of done it 15 years ago so the MRSA would of kept Sandusky out of the showers. The College kids in Happy Valley want a guy with a whole in his soul rather then his chin and you cant help but wonder if Schianos getting the better end of this deal while Suitcase O’Brien is going to the highest bidder in the Pros.

Schiano got alot of gruff for minor stuff like infecting 4 players with MRSA and telling the press that his QB was taking crazy pills because his psyche was nicked. But if you didnt think you were going into a disease ridden Hotzone when you signed with him, maybe the first hint should of been that the team is called the TB BUCCANEERS, I mean come on read a medicle journal.

The reality is Greg Schiano built a winning program at Rutgers that did good stuff like win a Thursday night football game when he had Ray Rice at running back, and also like beat Lousiville once or twice. And he would absolutely turn Penn State back into the elite force that it used to be in the late 90’s and early 2000’s when it didn’t have any of these problems they went through the past couple years. Greg Schiano would be a grand slam of a dunk of a home run hire for the Happiest Place on Earth.

HOWEVAH (Stephen A. Smith voice_)Personally I think Schiano might be to good of a coach for ANY football job. Hes a guy you want leading your military, your country, or coaching Jon Gruden on how to better bully a waiter bringing the Coronas. But if he HAD to stick around as a coach here are the places hed fit in the best:

  • Washington Redskins (stable ownership situaton, realistic media expecations, QB whose practically begging to have his medical disorders leaked)
  • Pittsburgh Steelers (Embodies the psyche of the town, tough as hell hard hat types and refusal to let trained medical personell examine things that appear to be real problems)
  • US Mens soccer team. No oranges at halftimes and no Capri Sons after losses. No celebrating for making it out’ve Group stage either- you havent accomplished anything. What better man to bring home the World Cup then a guy whose got the biggest buts on the planet?
  • President of the whole Country- like to see this country develop a more Next Man Up policy when it comes to flying arm drones over suspected crack houses and WIC centers no offense.

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