Kommenter Kontest: Your Fantasy Football Failures

12.18.13 4 years ago 211 Comments


Just realized they faced Jamaal Charles in their fantasy matchup.

As people get knocked out of their fantasy league playoffs, bitching about what could have been for our imaginary sports management careers is a given. In reality, nobody really cares to hear you gripe. But fear not, Kommentariat, we’re here to listen to your fantasy woes.

Post your worst trades, lineup moves, or reasons the fantasy gods wronged you in the comments below. While you might not get to play any more fantasy football, we’ll help ease the pain by sending a random commenter a copy of Cards Against Humanity. It’s not a football-themed game, but it will keep you entertained until you lose again next year. Submit your posts by kickoff of the Week 16 games (12/22, 1pm EST).


Here’s a few stories to kick it off from the KSK crew…

Sarah Sprague: Whatever signs of life I had left were undone by leaving Woodhead on the bench two weeks ago.

Tim Schavitz: Trading Philip Rivers straight up for Percy Harvin (still on IR). Was sitting comfortably at the top in my league and gambled on WR help for the fantasy playoffs. Didn’t have a backup QB in place and had to ride the back of Case fucking Keenam until Cutler came back from injury.

Trevor Risk: I started 5-0 in both my leagues and ended up 8-6 and 7-7 because i’m the fantasy equivalent of the Buffalo Bills. I was riding the Chiefs defense and then they became garbage.

Christmas Ape: I picked up Matt Asiata last week then didn’t start him.

RobotsFightingDinosaurs: I’m still really pissed off that:Demayrius Thomas, Jimmy Graham, Golden Tate (FUCK YOU STAY INBOUNDS), Larry Fitzgerald, and Shane Vereen ALL PUT UP 6 OR LESS POINTS. I HAD THE BEST TEAM. WHY DID I HAVE TO LOSE

Old James: A few years ago I got knocked out of the playoffs because Neil Rackers scored a TD. Thanks to what I’m still convinced will ever be the best fantasy performance by a kicker, the Feely owner – who also finished at 7-7 as me – leapfrogged me in total points and stole the last playoff spot. I’m sure Justin Tucker’s MNF performance this week has caused similar fever dreams for a few of you reading this. But until you’re stuck watching a kicker run in a touchdown in a throwaway game (Orton vs. Skelton? Christ.) — thereby ruining your shot at what was close to a $700 pot — YOUR FANTASY PROBLEMS AREN’T AS ELITE AS MINE.

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