KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pickkake: Abed

01.26.11 7 years ago 77 Comments

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Dallas! Up next, it’s Abed from “Community.”

This isn’t really me. This is one of the blog writers pretending to be me. I don’t like sports. Sports are on TV and I like TV, but I prefer scripted programs. Even though scripted shows tend to employ standard plots and cliches, they still offer more variety than what happens in sports. One side wins; one side loses. Gatorade is wasted. I find it kind of boring.

Christmas Ape is the guy writing this. He likes the Steelers. He’d prefer for me to pick them. But he also knows the readers jump down his throat anytime a hint of his fandom betrays his writing. So he’ll probably have me pick the Packers. I’m fine with it either way.

For such a supposedly important cultural institution, not a lot of shows dedicate episodes to the Super Bowl. I think that has something to do with the fundamental divide between sports people and drama people. I guess that makes me a drama person. But not a drama person in the sense that I want to participate in acting, which is funny because I’m a character on a TV show. Remember “The Simpsons” did that thing for a while where they showed the episode where Homer bets on the Super Bowl, but each year they changed the name of teams in an attempt to keep it current. Lisa would probably pick the Packers. She would have an issue with Ben Roethlisberger.

Of course, “The Simpsons” is on FOX. So is the Super Bowl this year. There’s very little chance NBC would allow my character to reference a show on a rival network talking about the Super Bowl during a year when they don’t have broadcast rights. Christmas Ape isn’t doing a very good job keeping this believable.

Personally, I think I was a weird choice to do this. I’m part of an ensemble cast. I’m not a strong enough personality to carry a story by myself. That’s why you’ll never see an Abed spin-off. It if it ever did happen, it’d just be a Palestinian version of “Outsourced.” Which is to say, a white guy leading a terrorist cell. Might not go over so well.

As for the pick, I’ll go with the Packers, because they’re the “good” team. You don’t really see me side with villains. That’s the team Annie and Britta would root for, meaning Troy’s on their side, too. Jeff’s with the Steelers just to be playfully antagonistic. Shirley likes Pittsburgh because she has the hots for their coach. Pierce enjoys the contest because he was born before the teams were formed. And Chang is planning to sabotage our Super Bowl party to get attention.

I wish we had used more claymation in this Super Bowl pick.

/Troy and Abed spend a minute acting out a bit as Joe Buck and Troy Aikman

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