KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pickkake: Channing Tatum

Senior Writer
01.28.13 26 Comments

During the 2012 NFL season, Channing Tatum, A-list star of blockbusters like 21 Jump Street, The Vow and Magic Mike, was a guest at an Arizona Cardinals practice and he was also on the sidelines during the Pittsburgh Steelers week 14 loss to the San Diego Chargers. Those two appearances were enough to distinguish him as the NFL’s biggest celebrity fan, so it came as very little surprise that my good friend C-Tates reached out to me with his thoughts on and prediction for Super Bowl 47.

But in true Channing Tatum fashion, he wanted to show what an incredibly diverse cinematic talent he has become, and he actually forwarded me an exclusive storyboard to his upcoming film, Suped Up Bowl 4 2 Da 7: Football N Sh*t Son WHAT!, and I can tell you with confidence that this is going to redefine sports movies as we know it.

From C-Tates:

Yo girl, check it… Ladies and gentlemen, welcome 2 da Supadome, please remove yo Kangols n rise and MUTHA FUCKIN GRIZZIND 4 YA BOY C-TATES! SUPED UP BOWL SON WHAT! WHO DAT B PREDICTIN SPORTS SON!

So like, mad peepz B axin’ me, Yo C-Tates, u hella fly, right? So wut B yo predictate 4 da Suped Up Bowl? Yo, lemme B clear – C-Tates is a baller, heard? I B like Dakota Manning of acting, so like sports ain’t no thang but a chicken leg. U ain’t believe me? I already B ritin a football joint called Suped Up Bowl 4 2 Da 7: Football N Shit Son WHAT!, starrin me as Glock Touchdown n my boo B played by Beyonce’s fly ass.

Chiggity check it, B4 U gots to pay 12 dolla 4 it.

Suped Up Bowl 4 2 Da 7: Football N Shit Son WHAT!

Starring: Channing Tatum as Glock Touchdown, Morgan Freeman as Coach Smooth, Tyrese as Flash Magnethands, Clint Eastwood as Commissioner Whiteboy, Beyonce as Tittyz Fine St. Babygirl, and introducing Ray Lewis as himself.

(Click here to enlarge, unless you have microscope eyeballs.)

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