Suddenly Competent Marmalard Flees For Life In Stabby’s Return

12.18.11 6 years ago 354 Comments

Watch as the NBC flunkies openly grouse that this game wasn’t flexed to Patriots-Broncos. “It could have been us showing viewers what Tebow would look like if he were right-handed! Who am I supposed to hype in this game? Ray Rice? SNL doesn’t devote sketches to him.”

Anyway, after sucking for the vast majority of the season, ruining your fantasy team and leading the NFL in interceptions (Josh Freeman derped his way to the top spot last week), Philip Rivers has gotten his float together the past two games, throwing six touchdowns and no interceptions. There was also a fumbled snap that the defense recovered for a touchdown, BUT THOSE AREN’T PASSING STATS! WHAT? HUH? WHAT? That said, those two performances were against the Jaguars and the Bills, so a granule of salt for reason, please. Ray Lewis returns for the Ravens, which will be a nice opportunity for announcers to ignore that Baltimore’s defense has been playing better with God’s Linebacker out of the lineup. Oh, and Terrell Suggs will probably continue to rep Ball So Hard University, the sketchy sister school of Ball State.

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