John Harbaugh: Heck of a victory, Jim. Looked for a second there that it might slip out of your grasp.
Jim Harbaugh: Well, you know, the Packers are a good team. They’re gonna battle. I was proud that my men know how to close out against good teams. Hey, that was a big W you got last night. Even if it was the Bengals.
John: The Bengals are a solid team.
Jim: The Bengals? Since when?
John: They made the playoffs last year!
Jim: Yeah, in the AFC. That’s a weak conference.
John: Still a playoff team.
Jim: Well, they didn’t look like it last night.
John: That’s because we dominated them.
Jim: Yeah, dominated the Bengals.
John: Shut up!
Jim: You shut up!
John: How are you even talking trash? I beat you last year, head-to-head!
Jim: Yeah, well my team got further.
John: Both our teams lost in the conference title game.
Jim: Yeah, but my team lost in overtime. Yours lost in regulation. That’s further. AND, my team lost to the eventual champs. You just lost to fellow losers like you.
John: You lost, too! We both lost in the same round! I can’t believe you. You’re pathetic.
Jim: You wanna wake the dragon?
John: You stole that line from Game of Thrones. Plus, that character gets killed like a bitch.
Jim: You’re a bitch!
John: You’re a pussy sore loser failtwat.
Jim: ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH NO ONE CALLS ME PUSSY! NO ONE! ANYONE WHO HAS EVER CALLED ME A PUSSY HAS BEEN FINISHED! DONE! I ENDED THEM! TAKE IT BACK! NOW!
John: F*ck no. Pussy.
Jim: YOU ARE TRIFLING WITH RAGE POWERS YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND, JOHN!
John: You think I give a shit? Pussy.
John: OH, YOU THINK I CAN’T GET MAD!? I GET F*CKING FURIOUS! I PUT THE FEAR THE GOD IN MEN TWICE MY SIZE! YOU THINK I GIVE THE FIRST SHIT OUT OF A NEWBORN’S ASS WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY? NO, JIM! YOU’RE JUST THE DICKHEAD LITTLE BROTHER AND IT’S TIME YOU GOT TAUGHT A LESSON!
Jim: BRING IT UUUUUNNNGGRRAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY
Jack Harbaugh: Boys, boys! I can’t believe the both of you! Stop it! Stop it this instant!
[Pulls them apart]
Jack Harbaugh: I did NOT build that Octagon in the backyard for the two of you to make a mess of my living room. I work hard and I deserve to have a nice house. You hear me? Oh, dear. Look at that. You almost knocked over my World War II memorabilia. Get your behinds out back right now. I’ll be out in a minute. You two better be in that Octagon, ready to go. Don’t neither of you draw blood until I get out there.