Dunkin Donuts once again did that strange promotional thing where they had a football player work a morning shift at one of their locations. Previously, they did it with Gronk, now it’s Elisha. If nothing else, that’s an awesome way to troll Boston fans.
“Hi, I’m Eli, the flatbread eggwhite sandwich of the Manning family.”
“I know you ordered a coffee, but that stuff is kinda gross. I took the liberty of whipping you up my own special blend. It’s equal parts milk and chocolate syrup. I call it SUPER MILK.”
— Dan Snyder’s official team bio is predictably teeming with misleading information and outright bullsh*t. Drew takes it right on down over at Deadspin.
— On June 10, a man in New Jersey called the police three times, claiming he was the president and asking to speak with Tim Tebow. When police arrived to arrest him, the man was hiding in his mom’s closet. This is how I picture all Tebow fans.
— Late last week, it was announced that the NFL is finally making the once tightly guarded All-22 footage available to the public, provided people want to pay the $70 to get it. Either way, Bill Barnwell says it will usher in a golden age of analysis from people who actually understand the finer points of the sport. Unclear how it will affect the half-assed dick jokery around these parts.
— This morning, Browns corner and Gator alum Joe Haden tried to make a bet with Josh Cribbs on the outcome of the Florida-Kent State College World Series game. You know, the one that ended last night. Don’t worry, Joe. You may have lost this round. But the contest for derpitude supremacy between Florida and Ohio is far from over.
— On second thought, perhaps giving a megalomaniacal dicksmack like Roger Goodell absolute power wasn’t such a great idea, so says NFL players much, much too late.