KSK Mock Draft: Best uniforms of all time

03.14.14 4 years ago 262 Comments

Ladies and Gentlemen, today’s mock draft will be a celebration of the uniform. We’re not limiting it to sports either, this could be any uniform of all time. Will the Chargers powder blues make an appearance? How about a throwback fig leaf?

We did a two-round snake style draft so we obviously left some winners out but all in all I think it’s pretty obvious that I won.

1. Sarah Sprague selects – The Rockford Peaches:


Loved this uniform even before the movie.

2. Eric Sollenberger selects – The Washington Bullets:


Pretty much an American Flag. The jerseys are made better by the fact that they were followed up by the worst logo/jersey/team name redesign in recent memory.

3. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band Uniforms:


Yes, they were a product of their age and also lots of drugs, but come on. They’re so happy and bright. Hell, they even look good on the overweight Beatles cover bands.

4. StuScottBooyahs selects – The Pan Am Stewardesses

Pan Am Stewardess Printable Cap Pattern


5. Christmas Ape selects – The Mounties


Especially if it comes with the ’80s WWE wrestler shock stick.

6. Big Sandy selects – The Houston Astros of the 1970s/1980s

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Nothing represented the faux-gaudy-space-age feel of culture during those decades like these red-and-orange striped uniforms for a team that played under a giant dome on carpet. Some people find it garish, I find it beautiful and a perfect reflection of the era in which they played.

7. PFT Commenter selects – The Hoggettes


Nothing cooler then showing a lunch pale guy how much you think hes good at football by dressing up like his ugly wife IMHO.

8. Old James selects – A karate gi


If you see someone on the street in one, he’s either a trained warrior, or he’s being chased by the cops after failing to rob a Little Caesar’s in Jacksonville. Either way, probably best to stay away.

9. Trevor Risk selects – The Starship Troopers uniforms


It’s curious how so many viewers didn’t understand you were supposed to root for the bugs in this movie. I mean, Verhoeven had Neil Patrick Harris dressed like Erwin Rommel, The Desert Fox. Gotta remember to keep that M-3 Tactical Helmet on though.

10. Trevor Risk selects – Playboy bunnies

Carrie Fisher on Laverne and Shirley seals it.

11. Old James selects – A pair of pants with the zipper all the way down

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I wear this particular uniform to work at least once per week. Someday this’ll become trendy, and I’m just ahead of the curve. Or so I tell myself at least once per week.

12. PFT Commenter selects – Hooters girls


Me and Jon Gruden just catching a hang w/ the most beautiful women in community college.

Sarah: I hate pantyhose and refuse to wear it (thank god LA is a city where no one wears hose) but PFTC is on to something. Tamara tights hide all flaws.

13. Big Sandy selects – The East Dillon Lions

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Two tone – red & white – simple, no weird digital clock numbering, no pointless reflective helmets, no faux retro logo. Just straightforward and gritty. The David Eckstein of Uniforms. LUNCHPAIL.

14. Christmas Ape selects – Electric Eliminators from The Warriors


Lots of enticing picks from this movie, but ultimately fly-ass bomber jackets beat out zombie baseball players.

15. StuScottBooyahs selects – The Dream Team


Those uniforms came to Barcelona 22 years ago and they brought an ass-kicking with them.

16. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – Stripey Nuggets Jerseys


Shit, okay. I was planning on taking the Northwestern football jerseys, but if it’s still around, I want those throwback Nuggets jerseys.

17. Eric Sollenberger selects – Stade Francais rugby


The original selfie uniform– but animated.

18. Sarah Sprague selects – The Wilderness Girls of Troop Beverly Hills


How is it they ended up with better uniforms than actual Girl Scouts?

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