The NFL Industrial Complex mandates that within hours of the draft we must start looking down the chute at the next wave of players due up next year from the NCAA farm system. While we don’t like this gross over-analysis of under-developed 20 year-olds any more than you do, we must do our due diligence and give the 2015 crop of recruits a look.
Gator Van, University of Florida
Terrible around the corner, limited mobility, bad handling. Look for the Bears to take Gator Van in the third round.
An unusually large rutabaga, University of Illinois
Just kidding with you, no one pays any attention to Illini, which is why this rutabaga has lettered two of the past three years. Browns, fourth round.
Solange Knowles, University of Surviving Your Father As Your Manager
Always wanted a league with not just one, but two Murderlegs.
Tyler Lockett, Kansas State
Guess they had a spring game recently and he sat out due to a minor injury. But spring games don’t mean much in the larger picture of anything because of course they’re spring games and only alumni and college football addicts get excited about spring games. Draft board status: Unclear.
Prince Oberyn Martell, University of New York
Has a 39 year-old Tisch alum ever made it in the NFL? No, but it sounds like someone either the Arizona Cardinals or the St. Louis Rams would be interested in as long as Pedro Pascal proves himself in the bagging department first. (BOOK READERS: If you must discuss Martell’s time in the Arena League, please do so in the spoiler discussion thread on Warming Glow.)
Todd Gurley, University of Georgia
Hroniss Grasu, University of Oregon
Apparently a world class center, but drunken Hollywood Boulevard club kids and tourists disappointed that the Walk of Fame really isn’t that exciting should note that Grasu’s parents opened the two Greco’s Pizzas on Hollywood Boulevard. Why, I remember a time before Hollywood and Highland existed and Greco’s was all you had at that end of the strip late at night (aside of the Chinese food/donut place) when you stumbled out of the Powerhouse at 2 AM. Not the best pizza in the world, but cheap and convenient slices in a city where you cannot readily find pizza by the slice. First round, any team but the Broncos.