Titans sue after Lane Kiffin inexplicably ventures into jurisdiction of Tennessee courts

07.27.10 7 years ago 33 Comments

Days after USC hired Tennessee running back coach Kennedy Pola as its new offensive coordinator, the Titans have filed suit. The lawsuit, filed in a state court in Nashville, accuses USC coach Lane Kiffin of tortious interference with Pola’s contract with the Titans. Earlier, Titans coach Jeff Fisher–a USC alumnus–expressed his frustration with Kiffin’s lack of professionalism in the matter.

While no one can predict how the legal process will play out, here’s exactly what will happen:

Titans’ Lawyer: “Your honor, I call our sole witness… Jeff Fisher’s Mustache!”

Courtroom spectators: “GASP!”

Sexy Judge: “I’ll allow it.”

Jeff Fisher’s Mustache: “Lavelle Hawkins knows that we’re expecting big things from him this season.”

Jury [in unison]: “Verdict for the Plaintiff! The Titans are awarded eleventeen brillion dollars!”

Sexy Court Reporter
: “That mustache is getting me all worked up.”

Sexy Bailiff: “Let’s make out!”

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