The Tower of Babel Mock Draft

04.24.13 4 years ago 33 Comments

Without exception, mock drafts are completely useless. No one knows much of anything before the draft. And what little people do know is just used as a launching point for baseless conjecture. More to the point, once the actual draft is over, these mock drafts serve absolutely no purpose other than to stroke the ego of the person who created it if his predictions even faintly mirror what transpired in the draft.

To capture the spirit of the pointlessness of mock drafts – and to kill some time before the draft – I ran the commentary from the first 10 picks from Don Banks’ most recent mock draft through five or six languages in Google Translate, then back into English. The resulting word salad is certainly no less illuminating than what Banks actually wrote, though there’s no question it’s more entertaining.

1. Chiefs – Eric Fisher

The project is likely to throw a coin. However, the reverse or tails Joeckel Fisher, director, and what if? Determine the details of the first flip-flop currency to another looking for easy money.

2. Jaguars – Dion Jordan

One week, another attempt to read the tea leaves in Jacksonville, where the debate seems to cut go – make haste Premier Jordan vs. draft defensive tackle Sharrif Floyd with. Except, of course, Jaguar basically trying to decide between the BYU defensive end Ziggy Ansah and Alabama cornerback beautiful Hatter, and we post the wrong way all the time.

3. Raiders – Sharrif Floyd

Raiders Raiders defensive rushers in passing, which is more valuable than solid reasoning, and you can choose Ansah. Tommy Kelly and Richard Seymour, but Floyd still seems to be the most natural way that will keep the former Oakland and lost a lot of the top five league sources said.

4. Eagles – Star Lotulelei

Eagles offensiveness goods Luke Joeckel, Texas A & M or Alabama cornerback de posizione take the entrambe squadre lussuria doPost aziende di essere con le de Loro harpsichord hurts here. Well Linee, Cardinali, caricabatterie e Delfini Joeckel Offerte – Bass fessura Lotulelei contenuti sono con l’idea di fermarlo, Perche non provare Eagles in a sfidare? Closing finto Pros telephone set monthly Philly job

5. Lions – Luke Joeckel

It’s a dream scenario Lions fans and talks to pick a favorite flavor in the top 10 this year, Detroit might actually be able to get a first-rate player’s draft position you are in greatest demand falls onto No. 5, and the best cornerback cap hat, filling obvious hole at the next table depth. I think the Lions can not even buy a truck, and see who will come after Joeckel, hat and Oklahoma offensive Johnson resolved lane? Maybe that sounds too good to be true.

6. Chargers – Lane Johnson

Brown acquired. Brown, too, I would have done the trade-down to that, if you do well. Milliner and 6, respectively, the third draft of the best offensive tackle in the ships attacking Johnson yet. Knowing that you have to get ahead of No. 7 Cardinals choose from faster-and bowls have cause to beat the Arizona and offer them desperately need to be occupied. This could be really fun in the number 4-5-6.

7. Cardinals – Chance Warmack

Scientes Quia Warmack ET ET North Carolina Praesidio Ionathas Cooper verisimile essay requirement for Ibi, Etiam not deesset were in Summo Tres Cardinal for vulnere taetrum tackle Habet mitigare, not super-solvere ET confortet in Omni Potentia com-Sursum conloquia.

8. Bills – Jonathan Cooper

They believe that we in the future to quarterback try in the second round or maybe to act back to (pronounced which IB-NET), the bottom of the first, invoices expect relatively safe here and play Cooper, his fourth and fifth in the top eight offensive linemen selected positions.

9. Jets – Dee Milliner

Well, guess what. If you had to be some kind of sign from God mode of operation, the design of the front of cornerback, you know, like the fact that it becomes clear that, fortunately, Tampa Bay is likely to change in the Jets’ record of a company that is trying to embarrass the Patriots. No worry, Rex head. available option for the future Barkevious Mingo easily.

10. Titans – Ziggy Ansah

Up eight runs and unfortunately Titans offensive lineman late winter before that, but they can easily pass rush and some discomfort in the back. In this state, Tennessee was his choice between gross Ansah, but exciting to play Mingo. Pick Titans can also put up for auction if someone has to be one of those players, quarterback Geno Smith, or even Florida State cornerback Xavier Rhodes (Miami, we’re looking in your direction).

[h/tr to reader Matt for the idea]

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