Cardinals name Leinart starter, Warner blames Jesus

09.26.06 11 years ago 8 Comments

Since his brief glory days with the St. Lunatics, Kurt Warner has handled more clipboards than Office Depot. Sadly, Kurt is making yet another trip to the supply closet. Denny Green has tapped 2-guard impregnator Matt Leinart to be the new starting QB for the Arizona Cardinals. The move was widely anticipated after Warner was booed off the field Sunday. Seriously, how bad do you have to suck to disappoint fans whose expectations are already lower than Vince Young’s Wonderlic?

The Cardinals have finally realized that, their best hopes notwithstanding, Warner has nothing left in the tank. After this season, Warner, a two-time NFL MVP, Super Bowl MVP and Cedar Falls’ Hy-Vee April 1994 Employee of the Month, can expect Arizona to give him a pink slip– which he will promptly mishandle and drop.

“I wonder if the Amsterdam Admirals are still around?”

(Photo: Lyle Whitworth)

Update: Apparently, Chris Mortenson’s snitch is feeding his some bad information. Warner is still the starter. For now. The sound you hear is Will Leitch banging his head against the wall screaming “THIS BUZZSAW NEEDS A NEW BLADE!!!”

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