Lousy Smarch Weather

11.30.07 10 years ago 13 Comments

It was the 13th hour of the 13th day of the 13th boner. We went to the doctor to see about some faulty Cialis

Holy shit, tomorrow’s December? Thanksgiving was last week? Where the hell did my NFL season go?

The Bengals didn’t even flirt with .500 and a playoff run before shitting the bed. Nobody wrote about the Madden Curse coming to fruition 500 times. I feel cheated.

But there’s a little bit of the season left to enjoy. The Patriots have that whole “Will they do it?” thing going on, a couple teams will put together late playoff runs, and a handful of games will be played in the snow, and snow automatically makes any game the best game on TV.

The one bad thing about cold weather games? The cheerleaders get all bundled up and stand on the sidelines in ear warmers and windbreakers. It’s like getting a handjob. You put up with it for a few minutes, then you’re like, “Goddammit, don’t bother.”

That’s why I applaud the Jets Flight Crew for pulling off cold weather sexy. You don’t have to show skin if you keep the clothing tighter than the little girl from the DLP commercials with the elephant and mirrors and crap.

Bonus points for the name insinuating “stewardess”

Although there’s still something to be said for football in warmer locales…

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