assholes

JOEY BARTON SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY

By | 9 Comments

This video was released a couple days ago, but I'm still wondering how former Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton completely avoided jail time for his May 2007 attack of teammate Ousmane Dabo.

assholes

GOODBYE, SONICS

By | 44 Comments

Welp, that's all for the Seattle Sonics.

assholes

WHY DON’T MORE PEOPLE HATE JASON KIDD?

By | 25 Comments

Mavericks point guard and fading NBA star Jason Kidd got tired of his beautiful, unfamous model girlfriend <a href="../post.phtml?pk=5166">Hope Dworaczyk</a> (whom he reportedly impregnated) and is now dating beautiful, famous model <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/swimsuit/collection/models/may_andersen.html" target="_blank">May Andersen</a>.

assholes

GYM VIGILANTISM NOW LEGAL IN NEW YORK

By | 17 Comments

Following up on <a href="../post.phtml?pk=5908">last week's story</a> about Stuart Sugarman and Christopher Carter -- the asshole hedge fund manager and the asshole stockbroker who attacked him in spinning class, respectively -- the jury in the assault case yesterday <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/03/nyregion/03spin.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Sugarman&st=nyt&oref=slogin" target="_blank">acquitted Carter of the charges</a>.

assholes

KARL MALONE LIKED ‘EM YOUNG

By | 27 Comments

Before Demetrius Bell was drafted in the seventh round by the Buffalo Bills, his closest tie to the world of professional sports was through his absentee father, legendary Jazz forward Karl Malone.

assholes

ROGER CLEMENS IS A SWELL GUY

By | 27 Comments

According to the New York Daily News, future Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/04/27/2008-04-27_sources_roger_clemens_had_10year_fling_w.html?page=0" target="_blank">had a ten-year affair with country star Mindy McCready</a>.

assholes

DAVID STERN IS A SACK OF S–T

By | 43 Comments

I don't talk about the Seattle Sonics much in this forum, partly because I take Clay Bennett's hijacking of the team to Oklahoma City too personally to laugh about it, but mostly because the situation's too complex to boil down in pithy little blog posts.

assholes

TEENAGE CHEERLEADERS ARE BITCHES

By | 58 Comments

A 16-year-old cheerleader from Florida named Victoria Lindsay was <a href="http://www.theledger.com/article/20080408/NEWS/804080385/1134" target="_blank">brutally beaten for 35 minutes by six of her classmates</a> because of some alleged MySpace trash-talk.

assholes

DAVID STERN IS A HUGE PRICK – UPDATE

By | 16 Comments

Apologies for posting a YouTube that's sound only, but you really need to hear what a gigantic asshole NBA commissioner David Stern is to AP reporter Brian Mahoney.

assholes

THE CUBS ARE A BUNCH OF PRICKS

By | 18 Comments

Tim Buss, the Cubs' strength and conditioning coach, was the butt of a <a href="http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports_hardball/2008/03/cubs-coach-punk.html" target="_blank">super-hilarious prank</a> orchestrated by the team's pitching staff.

assholes

CYCLIST DRUG-TESTED AT SON’S FUNERAL

By | 23 Comments

Cycling authorities are looking to take a more "human" approach to drug-testing after Belgian rider Kevin van Impe was forced to take a <a href="http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/rider-drug-tested-at-sons-funeral/2008/03/17/1205602258326.html" target="_blank">urine test at the crematorium</a> where he was saying good-bye to his dead infant son.

assholes

I HATE BRUCE BOWEN

By | 29 Comments

Year in and year out, the Spurs are the ugliest good team in the NBA, and while a lot of that stems from Tim Duncan's Sampras-like excellence, Manu Ginobili's flopping, and Tony Parker's stupid French face and bitch wife, it would be impossible to understate just how big of a cocksucker Bruce Bowen is.

assholes

SCOTT SPIEZIO F’D UP BAD

By | 20 Comments

Cardinals utility man Scott Spiezio, best known for his totally zany dyed-red goatee/soul patch that endeared him to thousands of dim-witted St.

assholes

WRIGLEY FIELD TO BE RE-NAMED?

By | 33 Comments

Tribune Corporation CEO Sam Zell has <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/sports/814904,CST-NWS-wrig27.article" target="_blank">come under fire recently</a> because he's selling the Cubs and Wrigley Field separately in an attempt to maximize his profit.

assholes

CHINA STILL TRYING TO AVOID OLYMPIC SHAME

By | 37 Comments

In its continuing effort to civilize the populace in time for the influx of athletes, media, and tourists coming to Beijing for this summer's Olympic Games, the Chinese government has <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080222/od_afp/oly2008chnmannersoffbeat_080222044358" target="_blank">added yet another wrinkle</a> to try to make its citizens act less like the rude jackasses they are on public transportation.

assholes

McNAMEE INJECTED CLEMENS’ WIFE?

By | 5 Comments

Roger Clemens' former trainer <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=AgoHAHBWsm5wXEmLA0ymOVE5nYcB?slug=ap-steroids-clemens&prov=ap&type=lgns" title="Yahoo! Sports" target="_blank">Brian McNamee is informing on people faster</a> than Henry Hill at the end of Goodfellas:McNamee added a new name to the list of people he says he injected with drugs: Debbie Clemens.

assholes

PACKERS FAN RESORTS TO SENSELESS MURDER

By | 26 Comments

You know, there's a reason that I pick on fan bases that are historically rabid for the home team: it's because people need to be reminded that while sports are fun to watch and more pleasant to talk about than the weather and politics, there are a lot of things in life that matter a whole lot more.

assholes

PATS STAY PERFECT, MARMALARD MAKES FACE

By | 12 Comments

The San Diego defense intercepted Dreamboat 3 times, but the Chargers couldn't score a touchdown and <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/recap;_ylt=An0y4UhP3Q.ROmwSiRLXCTD2zr8F?gid=20080120017" title="Yahoo Sports" target="_blank">lost to the undefeated New England Patriots 21-12 today</a>.

assholes

SWIMMING SPAT RESULTS IN NUDE PHOTOS

By | 30 Comments

Laure Manaudou is a revered sports icon in France.


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