Kommentariat Komments of the Week: May 7-13, 2014

05.14.14 3 years ago 66 Comments

Certificate Of Merit May 13

It’s a funny thing writing the KSK Komments of the Week post.

Every Tuesday I go back and read all the comments on all of the posts for the past week. I’ve tried selecting comments as posts go up a few times, but I found that penalized the stragglers (and often the funniest comments) who showed up a day late to the party. So Tuesday reading it is. Sometimes this works out in the Kommentariat’s favor and it’s easy to see which comments are streets ahead when they’re all ingested at once. And sometimes, like this week, it makes the task that much harder. Because everyone was funny this week. Everyone. The draft live blogs were hilarious. There were comedy pyramids of Murderlegs, endless jokes about the Patriots jersey buy-back program, Jaxon Cutler will die from not being vaccinated gallows humor and everyone’s favorite, making fun of Texas.

Much like when you have a hammer everything starts to look like a nail, when everything starts being funny you cannot stop laughing it becomes harder and harder to select the ones you think are the best jokes because they’re all so good. So imagine my surprise that when I got to the end of the comment reading, I had only pulled four comments to be highlighted in the KOTW post. The competition had become that tough.

This week, don’t be upset if a comment you liked — yours or someone else’s — wasn’t selected, because the comments selected are wins for all of your comments.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are the honorary comments of the week accepting the award for all of the comments for May 13, 2014; the week the draft got our grove back.

Your Child Understands The Contradictions About Michael Sam


I know the point has been made to death, but my nephew is 6 and it is physically impossible for him to care about this. Unless John Cena dunks on Lebron then kisses Batman, kids don’t care about anyone kissing anyone.

Friendly Reminder: The NFL Drafted More Gay Players Than Texas Longhorns In 2014

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Something something steers and queers something something.

(Reply) Otto Man
The joke you’re looking for is:

Steers 0, Queers 1. Scoreboard, bitches!

Johnny Homelessball 

Marc Buffalo

Haslem heard him wrong. What the homeless man really said was, “Enjoy your cell.”

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