Mike Shanahan Puts Dan Snyder’s Favorite Toy Way Up On The Highest Shelf

12.11.13 4 years ago 42 Comments


Well well well we all knew it would come to this one days folks. I hate to say “I told you so” but I did and it looks like you owe me a apology. Redskins coach Mike Shanahan has made the call to go with the hot hand in Kirk “KC Masterpiece” Cousins and at the same time sticking it to Redskins owner (no offense) Dan Snyder by taking away his favorite toy right before the holidays. Funny how a guy who wears ME-shirts that say “no pressure no diamonds” is being wrapped up and regifted to Snyder as a lump of coal.

This opens the door for my favorite NFL player and recepient of a wedding gift from me, Kirk Cousins to take over the helm in DC. I like to have some fun with it and say “A tie is like kissing your sister, but if you want to win you need to give your Cousins some play.” Ive made T-Shirts and everything its sure to be a stocking stuffer just like RG3s knee brace folks. Some people might say that Shanahans only doing this to make Snyder pissed but if he really wanted to do that he could of just taken away all the kids urinals in Redskins park folks. Nevertheless the die has been cast and brighter days are ahead in DC as KC and the Sunshine band get ready to hit the stage.

Now I know what your thinking, “But PFT, what if Robert Griffins pal Trent Williams ‘forgets’ how to block now that his dice-buddy got the hook?”” And your right, its a very real possibility that he would become more of a revolving door then a roadblock in a effort to get Kirk Cousins killed for sport and laughs, kind’ve like you saw Mike Vick throwing hospital passes down the middle of field  and treating Riley Cooper like a common Stafforshire Terrier. Well lets just say Kirk takes a shot he cant get up from, guess whose waiting in the wings folks?


The REAL RG3, Rex Grossman the third would be next in line, and lets face it itd be great to hear a QB in Washington say “Fuck it, lets go deep” to someone besides his celebrity surgeon for a change.

A quick look at the Redskins schedule shows us the following conservative projections with Captain Kirk steering the USS Franchise-

  • @ the 3-10 Falcons- Win
  • Home verse the 7-6 Cowboys- Win
  • @ the 5-8 Giants- Win

If this happens I believe that we might of seen Griffins last game in DC folks as Kirk takes the reigns. And if lovin your Cousins wrong then you can lock me up for incest.


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